“Emma you’re bawling into your soup.”
My psyonic friend raises a hand to rein in her surprise tears just as with another hand, she pushes her bowl away. Second time tonight she’s doing this. The crying thing I mean. Okay someone has to say it, so I will.
“Emma stop it will you?”
“I cant help it okay! He’s broadcasting again.”
Brennan is next to push his dinner away. This is what I slogged in the kitchen all night for.
“What is it Em? You said he was sleeping.”
She’s still waging a war with her traitorous tear glands, smearing mascara all over the place. I don’t understand why she bothered to apply it again anyways. She’s obviously thinking the same thing, among other things. Things that if verbalized, would not sound too flattering for my feral ego right now. She’s really pissed at me, at us.
“That was two hours ago when he cried himself to sleep Mulwray, in case you forgot. He’s up now… and he’s… well…”
Brennan looks at me. Emma looks at me. Oh I get it, I’m supposed to be the glib one here, which under standard temperature and pressure is a piece of cake but right now, a deep breathing exercise would just have to suffice.
“Oh-kay. I’ll go see if…”
“No I’ll go.” Brennan is already up and at the door.
“Brennan it was me, I should…” and I’m not allowed to complete again.
“No Shal it was the both of us, not just you. Besides, I can’t wait any longer.”
Excuse me? And why should you get to go mister? Am I not the best friend here? Was I not in his life long before you showed up? Does he not call me his proxy mom? Hey just because you happen to be the perfect going-steady boyfriend doesn’t give you the right to… to…
Okay maybe it does. I wanna go. Why can’t I go?
“Brennan I just think maybe… maybe we should wait a little while, give him more time to think and to…”
“No Shal… we’re not waiting any longer. I am not waiting any longer. This is ridiculous it’s like making him stand in a corner for two hours! Enough is enough. He’s lonely and he’s hurting. I need to be with him more than ever right now can’t you understand that?”
Bloody perfect boyfriend alright. He’s desperate to be with him. To hold him, and comfort him, kiss his tears away, and to tell him how much he’s loved. Of course I understand.
“Of course I understand Brennan, what kind of question is that?”
And the two are gawking at me again. Another deep exhalation at this point is required. Obviously I don’t have a good reason to stop him. And I don’t have the right to supercede either.
I wanna go. Why can’t I go?
“Okay. Maybe you should…” I don’t need to complete. Brennan is off in a flash.
“About time too.” Emma still doesn’t approve of my methods. I scowl at her and she scowls back. We often engage in intelligent debates such as these in our spare time.
“You know just because Adam left you in charge doesn’t give you the right to do what you please.”
“What do you think Adam would have done Emma, have you thought about that?”
She’s at a loss for words here, so I continue. “He would have been far more harsh believe me. We might even have lost him for good! Adam is very very critical of us making the same mistake twice you know that. And what he did, it wasn’t an ordinary mistake… you could have been captured or even killed. Adam would totally lose it if he found out… “
Emma is willing to give me that… grudgingly.
“Point taken. But at the end of the day, it’s only an addiction Shalimar. There are treatments, programmes to help deal with something like this. You can’t just go around meting out your own convoluted version of justice every time…”
Okay I wanna interrupt here.“Why don’t we wait and see if it works huh?”
“You really expect it would?” She’s smirking at me. I nod with absolute conviction.
“You know what I think?” Her voice is softer now, the way it gets when she is about to deliver bad news.
“I think you might have just pushed him away from yourself Shal. Good thing Brennan is in there making amends right now, although I’m not sure how helpful that would be either.”
And again huge inhale-exhale.
“Its not exactly making amends Emma. Its called forgiving. Its what truly makes the whole exercise effective and useful. You really wanna know how it works?”
She nods quietly, suspiciously. Its time I told her why I did what I did, and why I think it will work. I push my dinner out of the way.
Chapter 2 >>