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Bigbang (J2 AU) Shipwrecked!verse fic: A Season for Firsts

Title: A Season for Firsts
Summary: An evening in the life that Jared and Jensen have built together, in which Sterling plays shrink, Jared curses a Blackberry and Jensen plays mind games to enable certain things to happen for the first time. This is a (not so short) ficlet set in my Shipwrecked!verse (bigbang’08) set three months after Part Six and seven months before the Epilogue. Obviously that should be read first for this one to make sense.
Rating: PG-13
Jared’s POV. Written for Vincent (sammynce), I hope you like this sweetie, even tho there's no actual sex heh ;) And I hope you get well soon. *huggles*
Disclaimer: I own this AU plot but nothing and no one else.
Word Count: 3654


”You’re doing well,” Doctor Brown says as he rises from his chair behind the giant desk, scrutinizing the latest X-ray report one more time. He looks back into the face of his patient and can’t help but smile back.

Jared’s smile is simply infectious that way.

“Very well, in fact. The tissue generation is faster than expected.”

Jared grins some more and stands up too just because he can, provided the support of his cane of course, but that’s supposed to be temporary. It’s been two months since his last surgery in a series of multiple surgeries to fix his left knee battered by years of abuse. The physical therapy, he’s been promised, will take care of the rest. And soon, Jared won’t need the stupid cane or the stupid wheelchair or stupid anything anymore. Not even the painkillers.

He’ll be able to walk straight and proud like he used to four years ago. And you never know – he might even be able to play like he used to. But Jared reminds himself not to jump the gun yet. Slow down, sparky – that’s how Jeff would kindly chide if he were here, and with good reason. Nothing’s guaranteed after all. Miracles happen.

But so does shit.

“Thank you so much, Doc.”

“You’re never going to call me Sterling, are you?”

The specialist feigns a mild irritation to which Jared simply chuckles and lowers his head. They small-talk for a couple of minutes. Jared asks after Danneel and the good doctor launches into a long account of her discovery of a new pound for rescued dogs in the neighborhood, and how she’s been hounding him to go visit. Doctor Brown on the other hand seems fairly certain the family cat should be consulted first.

Jared snorts. “You two are so good together, even when you’re bickering like a sixty-year old couple.”

Doctor Br… Sterling grins and nods along. “Yeah well, what can I say? Can’t always be rainbows and unicorns but that’s what keeps life interesting, especially if you follow it up with some angry and/or make-up sex.”

That draws another soft chuckle from Jared but secretly he prays Sterling isn’t in the mood to share any more details on the subject. Thankfully he doesn’t and eventually the two lapse back into silence that lasts a few seconds.

“So, Jensen’s running late again?”

“I guess.” Jared looks away quickly, not wanting Sterling to see the restlessness he feels inside.

“Is everything okay?”

“Oh yeah! Absolutely.”

The retort that comes out is a bit too prompt, Jared just knows it is because now Sterling is narrowing his eyes at him. “You know, Jared, you ought to let him have it when he lets you down like this.”

“He… uh, had this big meeting.”

“And…? Surely it couldn’t be bigger than this?”

Getting a clean bill of health from all his doctors? The reassurance that he does not need any more surgical procedures and that he is sure to make a full recovery? Nah, not that important. Something like this could just as easily be done on the phone, right? He couldn’t have possibly asked Jensen to miss his very important stakeholders meeting.

Could he?

Suddenly the cane isn’t strong enough to hold him up anymore, so Jared collapses back into his chair.

Sterling leans forward with his palms resting on his desk. “How long have you guys been together? Three months now, correct?”

Jared just nods sulkily. Surely Brown isn’t qualified to psychoanalyze him like this?

“And you still don’t think you can be honest with your boyfriend?”

“I didn’t know you moonlighted as a shrink.”

Sterling snorts, takes off his glasses and sits down until he’s at eye level with Jared. “I don’t need to be a head doctor to tell you this. But if you can’t talk to Jensen when something is bothering you, it means you’re still not sure of your relationship. It means you don’t trust him…”

“No, that’s not… I trust Jensen, I do. It’s just that I…”

…don’t wanna lose him?

Jared knows when to bite his tongue, knows when something is bound to sound just as pathetic out loud as it does inside his head, if not more.

“Jared…” Sterling’s voice is softer, kinder.

But Jared looks away. He knows what he’ll see in those large brandy eyes – that annoying heartfelt wave of sympathy. Maybe even pity. He couldn’t stand it back then. And he sure as hell can’t stand it now.

“It’s really not that big a deal, just a regular checkup.”

Sterling sighs. “Okay. Whatever you say. I’ll just pretend I don’t see you glancing over at the door every five seconds.”

Five seconds, his ass. He hasn’t looked for a whole half a minute… at least.

And just then, the said door is flung open and Jared straightens up in sheer relief. He turns towards the man entering the office and his face splits into a grin bright enough to light up all of East Coast.


“I’m here, I’m here, so sorry Doc…”

Thank freakin’ God. Jared smirks quickly at Sterling, making sure the doctor catches it, before he spins in his chair to greet his panting boyfriend. Jensen must have run the distance from the elevator to Sterling’s office, that is, if he took the elevator at all. And he still looks great – plump lips partly open as he draws in huge gulps of air, deep blue shirt heaving along with his chiseled chest and his black jacket hanging off one forearm, his Blackberry clutched tight in his right hand as always.

Sweet Lord, how Jared hates that damn thing. Jensen spends more time with his fucking Blackberry than he does with anything or anyone else. Last night Jared found it vibrating under their pillows on the bed, their bed, and he’d almost pitched it out of the window before Jensen had walked in.

“Sorry I’m late baby…”

It’s okay, Jared thinks he should say, but doesn’t get the chance. Jensen is by his side in two long strides and then they’re kissing like they haven’t seen each other in months. Jared cranes his face up so Jensen can take it in both his hands and apologize to him properly. It’s the way Jensen kisses, or the way Jared responds to the way Jensen kisses – everything else floats away like it never existed and they’re the only two people left in the world. The world itself is nothing but Jensen and Jared, Jensen’s arms wrapped around Jared, Jensen’s lips on Jared’s, Jared’s tongue lost in the myriad tastes and melting warmth of Jensen’s mouth.

And nothing else matters.

They stay lip-locked for several minutes until Sterling clears his throat. Jared blushes and tries to pull away, at which Jensen whimpers and draws him back into the kiss, deepening it, lengthening it like they had all the time in the world.

Sterling clears his throat again, louder.

Jensen grunts unhappily but pulls away at last, settles into the chair next to Jared facing the doctor who is now standing behind his desk and peering down at the couple before him sharply.

“Alright, so what’s the verdict?”

The doctor smirks, opens his mouth very seriously as if to start talking but instead clamps it shut tight.

“Sterling? Is anything wrong?”

“Nope, nothing wrong at all, Jensen. But see it’s time for me to attend to my other patients, seeing as your appointed hour is already up, so…”

Jared knows where this is going. He just shakes his head and crosses his arms, waits for the good doctor with his flair for the dramatic and penchant to meddle in other people’s affairs to say the rest of his piece.

“I’ll just let Jared fill you in on our discussion and next steps. I’ve arranged for a slot same time, next week. Guess I’ll see you then, hopefully, if you’d be so kind as to make it on time?”

“Dude, I’m really sorry man. The meeting just couldn’t be…”

“You don’t need to explain yourself to me, freshman.”

Sterling comes around the desk and starts walking towards the door with deliberate steps. He used a nickname for Jensen back from their high school days, and it seems to hold a somber significance for the two men because Jared notices Jensen stiffening up by his side.

“But I’m sure there is something your partner would like to say to you. Right, Jared?”

Jensen frowns, turns to look at him then. And Jared just sighs feeling caught, netted and hooked.



The ride back home is quiet and ambiguously tense. Jensen drives them in his favorite Porsche convertible, the red one. Jared fiddles with the radio, searching for a station that won’t grate on his nerves. Or Jensen’s for that matter. One look at Jensen’s face and Jared knows he’s feeling the nerves too, though he’s not quite sure why.



“Is there something you wanted to say to me?”

“N-No. Not really. Doc was just messing with you. You know how he is…”

He tries to laugh it off. But even his world famous dimples aren’t working this time because it’s obvious Jensen isn’t buying. Jared turns away to look out the window – that’s his usual defense mechanism, pretending the problem doesn’t exist if he can’t friggin’ see it. Not that it ever works because even though he can’t see it, Jared sure can feel his boyfriend frowning behind him.

“Well. Maybe, there ought to be.”

“Whatever do you mean?”

“Look at me please, when I’m talking to you.”

Jared sighs, and turns to look into Jensen’s face. It is open and honest and strained ever so slightly. They’re stopped by another of those endless red lights of Manhattan. Jared doesn’t think he could ever get used to this insane traffic.

“Look I’m really sorry, man. I know this is the second time I’ve been late and…”

“Jen, it’s okay, I understand you have other commitments…”

Jensen is looking at him funny again. “Sure but, doesn’t it bother you that I wasn’t there? Aren’t you even a little bit upset?”

“Do you want me to be upset?”

And immediately, before he looks up into Jensen’s face, before even the last word is out of his mouth, Jared knows that that was absolutely the wrong thing to say.

“I don’t want you to be anything but yourself, Jared.”

“Well, then I’m tellin’ ya. It’s not that big a deal.”


“Why what?”

“Why is it not that big a deal?”

Jared huffs, exasperated. “I don’t understand this. You’re pissed at me because I’m not pissed at you?”

“I’m not pissed. I didn’t say I was pissed.”

“You look pissed, Jensen.”

“I’m not pissed! Pissed is too strong a word. I’d say… I am, maybe a little… unsettled.”

Oh. Really. “Unsettled?”


You are feeling unsettled?”

Jensen shrugs dramatically. “Yeah! What, am I not allowed to feel unsettled?”

“And exactly why are you feeling unsettled?”

“Because… obviously, you don’t miss me when I’m not there, not even a little bit, do you?”

Jared can’t believe his ears. Hell, he can’t believe this entire fucking conversation.

“Oh My God!”

“I mean come on, what does it say about a guy who’s in a brand new relationship and his boyfriend doesn’t even care if he’s there or not…”

And this is where Jared Padalecki explodes like he hasn’t in a long, long time.

“You’re such a selfish sonofabitch, Ackles. I’m the one who was left stranded, not once but twice! Three times if you count last week when you didn’t show up at all at Doctor Rosenbaum’s office.”

Jared is really worked up now. His voice has reached hazardous decibel levels but he doesn’t know it yet. Heck, he probably does know but he can’t bring himself to care.

“I’m the one left behind to fend for you because you’d rather keep me waiting but God forbid, not your investors.”


“I’m the one looking at the time and the door every damn five seconds, calling you but always, always getting sent to voicemail because you’re having another one of your conferences on your stupid Blackberry! All that state of the art technology at your fingertips and I still never reach you when I need you.”

Jensen isn’t even trying anymore, and Jared can’t seem to shut up.

“I’m the one fidgeting and listening with only half a ear to what the doctors have to say ‘cause I’m so worried about whether you’re coming or not. I don’t know if you’re in trouble or stuck in this stupid goddamn traffic or if you just fucking forgot. And I do it all alone!! And you say you are unsettled?”


“You said you always keep your promises, Jensen. You said you wanted to take care of me and that you always will. You said that over and over and over again! Tell me, how am I supposed to believe it if you can’t even keep a simple appointment at the doctor’s?”


It takes a while before he notices they finally got through the damn signal but the car isn’t moving anymore. And that sometime during his shocking outburst, Jensen had pulled over onto gravel by the side of the road and turned the music off. Jared’s throat feels funny, like a rock or something were stuck that he couldn’t swallow and he couldn’t upchuck either. He doesn’t know how many minutes or how many hours go by before he finally stops yelling. He’s just glad at least he did.

No wait, actually, he’s not. Because now would be Jensen’s turn, wouldn’t it?

Jared turns away towards his window again, struggling to calm his panicking heart.

Man. He’s really done it this time.


What follow are the longest few seconds in the history of the universe.

Jared used to be a talker once, before life threw him a curveball that took him years to recover from, and now words don’t come as easy as they used to. Jensen on the other hand is a talker because that’s his job. Even Jared expects him to handle the bulk of their conversations most days. But then some days he gets the feeling – like when they’re alone and there’s nobody else to put up a front for – that his cool, articulate boyfriend would rather just deal in quiet gestures instead of spoken words. Fact he’s never known anyone to be more comfortable with the inevitability of silence than Jensen.

Which is why, Jared also trusts him implicitly to break it, when he thinks it’s time.

“I believe we just had our first argument, baby.” Jensen’s voice… it’s the softest whisper rolling off of his tongue, and shockingly so. “As an official couple, I mean, not counting the stuff from way back when.”

Jared sighs heavily and slumps back in his seat, quietly hugging himself. The realization hits him slow but sure as day and night, and all the blood in his body goes rushing up to his face.

Why’s he not surprised he got played by his devious boyfriend again?

“I kinda liked it,” Jensen murmurs and it sends shivers down Jared’s spine.

“Yeah well,” he clears his throat, swallowing his tears of spent rage and overwhelming relief. “You started it.”

He feels the warm hand on his forearm and relishes the touch for a second. But he’s still too shaky and embarrassed to face Jensen just yet.

“Look at me when I’m talking to you, baby. Please?”

Oh alright, he turns, fearing the very worst. But Jensen doesn’t look smug or mad. Fact he almost looks… thrilled. Not to mention just as relieved as Jared feels inside.

“I am so, so sorry, Jared. I’m just… I guess… I don’t…”

Jared laughs a short sad sound. “It’s okay. I get it.”

“No you don’t, Jared. I’m just so used to being the boss, you know? So used to people waiting on me, for me, nobody so much as blinks if I walk in a half hour late. Nobody bothers to correct me when I’m wrong.”

“Except Tommy…”

Jensen grinds his teeth. “Of course. Except him, I do nothing right if you ask him.”

Jared snorts.

“But that’s not the point. Jared, I… I need you to weigh in on whenever you think I’m out of line, man. I need you to run this show with me, I can’t do it alone, baby. And if that involves screaming the roof down then so be it. Don’t let me get away with shit like this again, you hear?”

There has to be a coherent response to that, Jared knows there must be one, except he can’t think of any. All he wants to do is grab this man he loves so much and kiss him until Jensen’s completely cross-eyed and blue in his gorgeous face. Instead, what comes out is a short gasping giggle, tries to clamp it down before Jensen can pick up on it, but he’s too late.



“Why’re you laughin’?”

Jared giggles again and shakes his head. “I’m sorry… it’s just funny, my mom said about the same thing on the phone the other day.”


Oh boy. "A-And... I told her she was just trying to turn me into a nagging wife like herself and hung up."

Jensen grins along before he puts a hand on Jared’s and leans in close. Jared gets the hint and licks his lips before closing his eyes, drowning himself in his lover’s passionate kiss. When it ends, everything is forgiven and forgotten. Amid soft, truncated words mumbled into each other’s mouths, Jensen promises to be more punctual and also start carrying a separate phone that only Jared would have access to, one he will always answer no matter what.

“Like a hotline?”

“Like a hotline.”

Jared mixes his laughter into the kiss and also promises to always speak his mind to Jensen no matter what, and especially when they disagree. It’s a deal he thinks he might just be able to live with.

To celebrate their first fight, since Jensen thinks it’s such a momentous occasion and all, they stop for a candle-light dinner at a quaint little restaurant on Pier 17. To begin with, everything goes perfectly, Jared orders food for four which Jensen’s quite used to by now. At least it never gets wasted because the twenty-two year old eats it all. But soon his last dose of medication wears off and Jared starts palming his knee under the table. And he thinks he’s being pretty discreet about it too. Unfortunately, he’s anything but.

Jensen coughs lightly. “Babe?”


“What did we just talk about?”

Busted. Jared opens his mouth to say something, anything. Nothing comes out. The older man sighs and holds out his right hand with his palm turned upwards. Jared puts his hand into Jensen’s like he’s done a thousand times before.

“How bad is it?”

It happens if Jared stays out in the cold too long, or when he forgets to carry his pills with him like tonight. The still healing joint creaks and throbs like he was a hundred years old and it frustrates him to no end but he hadn’t wanted to ruin the mood. Actually, Jared always tries his best to hide his pain. Maybe it’s a silly masculine compulsion, all those years on the streets of Jersey and they still couldn’t knock his pride down.

So as always, he starts to shrug it off, say something off-handed to appease the concern on Jensen’s face. But then he stops – figures he might as well give their new deal an honest shot.

“Smarts a little.”

He watches guardedly as Jensen blinks, picks up his napkin and wipes his mouth with it before he gets up. Just when Jared starts to get alarmed that Jensen might be thinking of leaving this scrumptious meal unfinished, their usual waiter, the one with the Japanese accent, hurries over.

“I’m sorry, is there a problem, Mr. Ackles?”

“Jensen, Kyson. Jensen.”

The young man smiles and makes a shy, subtle bow. “Jensen.”

Jensen nods and grins. “No problem, man. Just tryin’ to move in closer to my sweetheart here.”

Jared blushes and smiles awkwardly, “Hi.”

The waiter makes another soft bow at Jared before helping Jensen move the cutlery and his drink to the chair beside Jared’s so they are seated right next to each other instead of across the table.

The rest of the dinner is a beautiful blur made of jokes and chuckles and tender confessions of love and lust, of clanking drinks and slurping lips and strings of spaghetti changing mouths. A couple of spills and a lot more laughs, naughty promises of what Jensen plans to do to Jared when they get home, and through it all a skilled hand that stays on Jared’s knee, massaging it just right to make all his pain go away.

Jared doesn’t know why he was afraid before. If speaking his mind leads to fighting and fighting leads to making up, and if Jensen does making up this well, almost as much as he does everything else, well… it sure can’t hurt to be the nagging wife in this relationship after all.

“How’s that knee feeling now?”

Jared sighs and closes his eyes, “Like new. Thank you, Jenny.”

Pulls Jensen into another long, luscious kiss and damn it where is Kyson with their check already?

“Anything else I can do to make it up to you?”

Jared bites his lip. “Well, there is one more thing…”

“Anything, baby. Anything.”

Jensen steals another kiss before pulling back to gaze into Jared’s animated eyes.

“What is your position on puppies?”

*** END ***

A/N: Pls let me know what you think?

(Deleted comment)
Thanks for reading sweetie! I hope you liked it :)

(Deleted comment)
(Deleted comment)
Really? Thanks so much!! You're so awesome for reading and reviewing hon :)


Oh God. Every time Jared calls Jensen 'Jen' or 'Jenny' I can't help but feel weirded out, considering we have pretty much the same name.

. . . . I do enjoy it though.

Yay!!! A timestamp for Shipwrecked!!! I absolutely loved this story when it came out, and to revisit the J's now, when they're happy... just lovely; hope you'll do more with this 'verse!!!

Thank you so much hon! :) I'm really glad that you enjoy this verse. I suppose I could do more once my other WIPs get done heh. But it's a matter of whatever catches my muse's fancy and then I just run with it. cheers hon :)

Edited at 2008-11-12 03:07 pm (UTC)

So happy to see more from this verse - really loved this!

Thanks so much hon! I'm glad you enjoy this verse :)

Weirdly, I was just thinking about Shipwrecked the other day, and how much I had enjoyed the characterisation, and I never thought you'd continue in the verse, but I'm glad you did. I like this AU and I kind of hope you do some more in it, if you feel inspired to. I feel like the guys are still finding their feet with one another, and it still has some mileage. Enjoyed it loads, anyway.

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I'm glad you enjoyed the original verse as well as this little timestamp :) You're right.. the relationship is still so new and Jared's still so fragile.. I sure hope to do a few more fics if my muses cooperate! :) cheers hon.


and now that I'm off my KH kick I'm going to be a good little fangirl and go read the rest of the shipwrecked arc. =D

You're a sweetheart you know that right? :) Reading this without actually having read the original verse? AWESOME!!! :) *huggles* Thank you so much sweetie :)

PS: Hope you enjoyed my little v-gift? Sorry I was a little late hon, belated happy birthday again! :)

i love this! i wondered so much between 6 and the epilogue when i read it. I wanted to know that Jared remembered how to speak, and understood why he had to.

this was wonderful.

Also, everything should end in hugs and puppies.

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing hon :) You're right.. there is a lot left to the imagination between chap 6 and epilogue but I didn't wanna write a mammoth 100K that not many people might want to read hehe :D I'm so glad you like this snippet fic from that gap in between.

Also, everything should end in hugs and puppies.
You bet!!! :D cheers hon :)

aw!! *flail* that was awesome ;D first of all I have a total Jensen calling Jared "baby" kink! I love it to death ;D just like I loved this fic! it was a perfect oneshot follow up to shipwrecked, I think. I adore how Jensen continues to not be perfect because it makes his and Jared relationship seem more real you know? they both have their faults but they love each other anyway, and it's all so lovely ;D Jared's blowup was also very important not only because it was their first fight as a real couple but because it'll help them be closer now that Jared knows that he can speak his mind without fearing that Jensen will leave him. and that insecurity that he had was heartbreaking, but I'm thrilled that Jensen is helping him to get passed it ;D

also Jensen rubbing Jared's knee was too cute, as was him calling Jared his sweetheart. aw again! ;D

you are ten kinds of awesome, darlin'! I love your stories so much and this totally makes me want to go read shipwrecked again so I think I will ;D love ya!

:D Thank you so so much sweetheart!! :) *clings* Your comments are always the sweetest and they make me grin like a lunatic for hours afterwards :D

Dude I share with you the baby kink 100%!! :D And you couldn't be more spot on! :) Jensen does still have imperfections but the important thing is he is willing to overcome them for Jared because he loves the boy so much. And Jared is also being slowly but surely drawn out of his shell by Jensen and his love.

also Jensen rubbing Jared's knee was too cute
:D Thanks! That's a little bit for Vince (sammynce) - I wish I could send Jensen over so he could massage our poor boy's back and make his hurt go away too you know? *sighs* :)

Thanks again sweetie :) I'm so glad you enjoyed this verse:) *hugs*

loved it!

and what an adorable ending...I can totally see another part of this series with a couple of puppies...*g*...just putting it out there...XD

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing hon :) And I like your ideai a lot - guess Sadie and Harley could star in the next part huh? :D Will surely try to come up with something. cheers hon!

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Vincent!!! I am so glad to see you here sweetie :) This is all for you and I was a little worried but now I'm so relieved and happy to know you liked it! :) Yep Jared is still shy and Jensen is still not perfect but they're both working towards it and their relationship is getting stronger with every day :)

I love you so much baby boy - wish I could send you a Jensen who'd take care of you too while you're recuperating you know? :) *hugs and kisses*

Nawwh! Get them a puppy =D

I'm sure they will hon, not one but two puppies :D Thanks for reading! :)

I totally love stories set in verses I like, and yours is one of them ! A story where everything is good, and sweet, and ... What did Jensen say about puppies ??! ;o)
Thank you, this is wonderful !

Thanks so much for reading and for your kind comment hon :)

Jensen blinked, once, twice.. before smiling sweetly and said, "Puppies sound good, baby. So long as I don't have to walk 'em!"
Jared grinned victoriously, and that's when it struck him. "I'd be happy to do all the walking, Jensen."
Jensen pulled him close into his embrace and sealed their new deal with a kiss.


Wonderfully done!

I'm thrilled that Jared has finally taken up for himself! It's a nice change. Jared definitely has had a difficult few years, and I think that this is a step in the right direction.

I thought it was so sweet that Jensen moved his chair next to Jared to massage Jared's healing knee. Too cute!

I really did love the main story, and I think this story fit in perfectly with it. I hope that there is more to come from this little verse.

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing sweetie! :) Yep.. Jared definitely is moving in the right direction and he's also teaching Jensen a few things on the way, like punctuality :D
I might write more if the muses strike again heh. But there is definitely potential I guess. cheers hon :)

Awwww...I loved this. Of course, now I want shipwrecked!verse puppy!fic lol.

Seriously, though, you took a serious subject in their relationship and made it right with the perfect amount of schmoopy goodness. Can't ask for more than that :)

Yayy, I'm so happy you liked it sweetie! :) Puppy fic might be fun to write.. let's see :D

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing hon! *huggles* :) Hey did you receive my last two emails?


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