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Rebelling against Reality since 2003


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Misc: Therapist

Venting, just because..

I want to get something off my chest.. would highly recommend the faint of heart (when it comes to writing!wank) to ignore this post.

I know I'm just an average writer, maybe even less. I know there are much much better storytellers out there in comparison to whom, God knows, I fail and miserably at that. But I'd also like to point out that I really don't even want to compete with anyone out there. I just want to be able to write something that I'd want to read myself. And if someone else also ends up having a good time with it and sharing the fandom love, then even better :) That's all I want. I don't want to be a professional writer. I don't want to have a zillion fans. All I want is to have fun and the last thing I want is to be told I suck because I don't abide by the so-called "rules" of fanfiction.

Honestly, there are times when I don't play by the rules on purpose, just to get that raw 'unpracticed' feeling. So it doesn't sound like something you'll read in a text book - instead it should sound like something you might actually say when you read it out loud. It's the difference between, say Grey's Anatomy and Friday Night Lights. One's all about perfect angles and beautiful people and gloriously lit cinematographic shots. But the other looks like it's been shot with a handycam under natural (bad) lighting and loosely edited together like snippets of real life unfolding before your eyes. So yeah, often I drop the pronouns in the beginning of my sentences, leave lines incomplete like words unspoken for the reader to surmise on their own. Use long rambly sentences if a character isn't in the mood to bother with pausing at the appropriate places, as if they just want to get something off their chest as quickly as possible.

I use slightly heavy vocabulary for X-Men because that's what they like to do in the animations and movies. But if it's RPS then I write the way I think my American friends speak - fast and casual and perpetually high *giggles* and endearingly imperfect, so long as it makes sense. Yeah my language isn't great, often some typos and stupid mistakes go unchecked. But I spellcheck constantly and I use betas - in fact for my bigbang fic I used four. I incorporated 90% of the inputs they gave me and left out 10% on purpose, the purpose being what I just described above.. I want it to "sound" real. And that's just me. Others have infinite command on language or are expert wordsmiths, I'm not. I just have this.

So yeah, I don't play by the rules. But my question is - who laid out these rules anyway? Why is it unacceptable to use "younger man" or "taller man" so long as you don't overdo it? The overuse of he's and his' gets quickly annoying and just how many times can you use "Jared" to refer to Jared and "Jensen" to refer to Jensen and "Padalecki" to refer to Jared and "Ackles" to refer to Jensen in one paragraph for God's sake? Who says using ellipsis is wrong and why can I NOT use long sentences if that is how I visualize my character talking in my head? Why can't I NOT switch POV from one section to another? I mean I totally understand if I switch suddenly 'cause that is confusing to follow, but why does the whole chapter have to be in one POV damn it?

Whose rules am I expected to follow and why? I'm not charging you to read, I'm not publishing even in fanzines which I think venture too close to copyright infringement. Then why can't I not follow my own rules so long as the end product is readable and likeable? And.. uh.. it is readable, right? At least I like to think that it is.. *shrugs*.. again it comes back to what I said before - writing what I want to read myself. 

*sighs* I know I'm just an average writer, but I'm happy that way. English is not my mother tongue, and I work hard to keep it as neutral as possible. Writing isn't my life, but it's pretty darn close to it :) Writing is fun, writing for others who appreciate it, even more so. And I really really want to keep it that way.

I'm sorry if you've reached the end of this post and still wondering what the whole point to this outburst was. I just.. felt like I should apologize for and explain any "badfic" elements you might have come across on this LJ. And I want to thank you if you've ever thought of one of my fics as utter crap but kindly kept your thoughts to yourself heh :) Considering how hurtful fandom (esp SPN) gets at times, I truly treasure all the encouragement you guys have given me.

Thank you so so much.

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Upset ranting time. This is my pouty face. 8(

... Someone actually tried to tell you that there are RULES for FANFICTION?

Excuse me while I laugh uproariously.

Fuck 'em. And I'm seriously angry here. I've had a bad day, my FwB is ignoring me when all I was in a hug, I caught my fingers in a blender and cut them all up (don't ask me how), probably bombed my english test because I don't feel like writing a page on the plot summary, rising action, climax, and falling action of a short story that was about 4 pages long, and am now in psychology, on the internet, and THERE'S SOMEONE TRYING TO TELL ME THERE'S RULES FOR WRITING FANFICTION?

First of all, nowadays there a barely rules for writing books, if this person has ever picked up one of the new 'stream of conscious writing' stories out there, or has read Catcher in the Rye. And if there are? They constantly change until you really can't even justify telling someone that.

I love how you write, -because- you try new things and throw 'rules' out the window for the overall FEEL of the piece. I like it when I can act out what the characters saying because it's something a real person would say. Stuttering, badly worded and all! And I hate that someone could possibly hurt you, telling you this! Especially when it means they themselves are breaking the fandom rules their preaching! Fandom is suppose to be supportive, help improve writers and never bring them down. That's a flame, thats trolling and we hate that.

*cuddle* Let's have a raid. =P

Re: Upset ranting time. This is my pouty face. 8(

I know right? I understand the rules of grammar, but I don't get these "norms" people seem to be professing and I sure don't like to be judged because I don't follow them.

Anyway, what matters is that I like what I write and you guys like what I write and that should be enough. Thank you so so much for your support sweetie :) I was having a dismal day and really really needed this.. You're totally awesome sbama you know that right? :)

Re: Upset ranting time. This is my pouty face. 8(

^__^ You know, when I started ranting I had a reason, and this one one the few times that reason didn't get lost in the tangent: to make you feel better <3

I have no idea what your intentions were, but if it was to make me grin and coo and flail around like a retard, YOU DID IT!

I'm glad your feeling better, and just remember, it was the: heat of the moment!


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