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cyndrarae

Rebelling against Reality since 2003

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Shipwrecked - Jensen - 2
cyndrarae

Bigbang (J2 AU): Shipwrecked.. Epilogue



(Deleted comment)
Thank you so very much for reading and reviewing! Yeah the characters aren't supposed to be perfect. They're human, they've made mistakes but they're willing to pick up the pieces and do the right thing, move on. And now I'm rambling, sorry :D
I'm really really glad you enjoyed it hon, cheers :)

Wow. I really loved this.

I'ev enjoyed every J2 BigBang fic I've read, but there's always a few that really stand out; this is one of those.

Love the kinda angst you've got going through this. The hurt, guilt-ridden - yet determined Jared is especially good.

Thanks for writing!

here's always a few that really stand out; this is one of those.

OH MY GOD. Really? That's just.. wow.. thank you so much for the huge compliment hon. I'm so psyched... and grateful :)

cheers hon.

I really enjoyed reading this. You took the prostitution angle and made it so much more. I liked the way you made Jensen very much in charge but soft enough to work perfectly with Jared's character. I love the sneaky little Supernatural reference--that made me laugh. I liked that Tom was the friend who didn't fall for Jared right away, but of course, who could resist for long. I liked that Jeff was the one who saved Jared, that was a very nice touch. All in all, you made a fascinating world!

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing hon :)

I liked the way you made Jensen very much in charge but soft enough to work perfectly with Jared's character.

Yayy!! Thank you :) I did need Jensen to compliment Jared in every way. I imagine they could both learn from each other and grow into better people over time. I also wanted to create characters that as real and believable as possible. They're not heroes, they're just ordinary people reacting to situations by doing the right thing and in a way that's what makes them extraordinary.

Okay I shall stop rambling now ;P Thanks again hon, am so glad you enjoyed it :)

Waaaaah! I just loved this. Such an enjoyable read. Plenty of schmoop and sniffles, but in no way over-done. Lovely work :-)

Thank you!!! :) I'm so glad you enjoyed it hon. And even gladded you thought it was not over-done! *is relieved* cheers hon :)

really great! =D Loved the interactions and that we got a happy ending despite the misunderstanding.

Thank you so much!! :) I'm so glad that you enjoyed reading this hon :)

(Deleted comment)
Thank you thank you so much! :) I did try to keep it as subtle and believable as possible yeah! They're just ordinary people reacting to situations like ordinary people do, only they're doing the right things instead of wrong ones *shrugs*
It is so heartening and wonderful to read your comment validating my humble efforts hon. Really, thank you so much! :) *hugs*

Awww - made me cry at a couple of points. Glad Jensen wasn't fooled - I liked his characterisation very much all the way through.

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing hon :) Jensen's the easier one to write in this AU.. he's very clear on what he wants unlike Jared who's so conflicted, poor thing. Okay I'm rambling sorry :D
cheers hon!

Well, you asked for it 01/02

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear – now I read this in a three hour rush (I’m a slowly reader when it comes to English stuff) and I am still, even after I had half an hour to collect my thoughts, not sure what to feel besides tears and this warm, amazing something in my stomach making so clear that you, with this story, now own my heart.
I’ve read lot of Bigbangs. LOTS of, because I simply have the time, and this one came like a rocket and put its place on the top five. It was pure love to read, pure fun to know you’ve written this, because I kind of know you and CAN feel as fucking proud of you as I want to without seeming like a freak.
But let’s just – you know. Step after step.
First thing is that I absolutely admire your goddamn style, darling. I just LOVE how in-depth it is, I enjoy the way it just FLOATS and sounds so goddamn POETIC on the same hand and makes me go all “awww” because it’s just so much beauty and so beautiful to read it, you know? I mean, you know that, I told you before, but reading your stuff is just such a pleasure because it’s emotional and just EPIC and I am lacking words to describe it and keep somehow…objective.
I mean, GIRL. Just how you use repetitions, like the one of the bar smelling of nothing, nothing at all just is such an amazing way of putting the reader to that place and on the same hand showing so much of Jared’s character yet, it’s fascinating. Jared and his knees, that cannot stand the weight of his broken dreams anymore. Beautiful. Absolutely amazing how warm you write, how warm I feel when I read your stuff.

The moment you got me crying was very early in the story, the one that got me crying like a lost child without being able to stop was when there was this stupid line: It’s okay Jare – you can let go.
You can let go. So simple. So brilliant. Do not ever, ever mix with your style, in my eyes it’s bull’s eye.

But I do not only like the warmth of your style, but also the way you just HOOK people. I refused to read what your story was about, I wanted to just start reading, and just how slowly everything comes out is so fascinating and INTERESTING, and so many authors are not able to do this, they cannot work Show-do-not-tell but you CAN. It was a pleasure to find out WHAT kind of job Jared has, a pleasure to find out what happened in his past, and girl, you DO know how to put in plot twists and cliff-hangers. Jensen already knowing? All these little comments he makes? One feeling like there is no other choice but to READ ON to find out what happened four years ago? Alan? That was amazing; so catchy and professional in it’s own way, I am still smiling and so goddamn.fucking.proud.

Talking of Alan – characterization. And, boy, your Jared is like one of the most touching things I’ve ever read in the fandom.
You know, I like hooker stories. They have to be GOOD, which makes that kind of kink rather unsatisfied in me, because there so rarely ARE good hooker fictions out there, but you just – your Jared is so amazing. I mean, people could argue that it’s some sort of cliché, sure they could, they could ask why he is doing what he’s doing, but for ME, this was all very clear, you know, it was guilt, and guilt is a bad bad spot that never leaves you and controls your whole goddamn life, and with a guilt like that, the one of someone thinking he is responsible for a death, that’s – changing the whole body and soul, and you just showed that so perfectly, and you showed his distrust so amazingly; I mean, when I’ve read that he and Jensen do not even sleep in one bed my heart was absolutely, like, absolutely stopping for a second, because that’s something I call REALISTIC which is often ignored in fandom but so Important To ME as a writer. Jared was gorgeous. Warm, broken, vulnerable but with a voice on his own, and I so enjoyed your dialogs, because your characters HAVE voices, you know, and these voices make it possible to even follow talks longer than two or three sentences, which is also not something many authors are able to do.

Re: Well, you asked for it 01/02

Oh jeez... *sighs* Rave.. I don't even know where to start thanking you! Your words are making me wanna weep a little because after having waited 2 bloody months to post this and after all the anxiety and nervousness, your words feel like redemption. And especially coming from a friend as dear as you is just the cherry on top!!! *smishes* :)) It means a lot to me when you say you're feeling proud because.. sweetheart that's just absolutely the best thing anyone's ever said to me for my writing!

And yeah it was very important for my characters to be REAL and believable. I didn't want the guys to be heroes or perfect in any way. They had to be ordinary people but extraordinary in the choices they make, their willingness to look past the other's shortcomings and fall in love with the person inside, and then let that love inspire them to do the right thing. I also completely agree with what you said about guilt. It controls your life utterly, more than any other emotion possibly could and if it didn't I'd worry that maybe we weren't human anymore.

I feel utterly relieved to hear that found them realistic honey. You're like.. oh God.. I'm hopelessly in love with you right now !! :D
Thank you thank you so much sweetheart!!! :) *hugs*

Well, you asked for it 02/02

JENSEN on the other hand was just written so goddamn well and realistic as well. Love on the first sight just changes everything (and I do believe in it) and how he changes his way of thinking he can cross Morgan’s ideas and then absolutely falls for the trap was very nice to read. I liked his characterization of himself. I think this is a story I could read on and on just to see HOW Jensen gets into one aggressive or violent mood, just because it fits so well to the profile presented in these words here. Besides – I don’t wanna hurt you, ever? THAT hit bull’s eye of my sucking heart for romance and love and FEELINGS. My gosh, and Jared that “lets the words break him”? My. My, your colours are so beautiful.
Alan was love. With Alan, you hit one of my weak spots. I cannot even explain why, I loved the boy from the first moment he came up; maybe because Jared cared so much about him and you made so clear how he does and why and we, as readers, were so sitting in his head and just enjoyed his thoughts and his pain.
I liked Tom as well – could understand his trouble of believing and really appreciated him questioning Jared. I think he gave up a little too fast, though, but that’s just a matter of taste and seeing/understanding, I think. – maybe because my own trust would not go that far; I’d check Jared for at least half a month without caring if I hurt him or not.

Atmosphere was amazing. The rain? The metaphor of heaven and earth loving each other? Boy, that was so goddamn beautiful. I also loved the way your time flooded; one just found so many interesting facts while following you and the characters.

As you can see – I am pleased, I am so much ARE. When I recall the story, there is actually not much that really HAPPENED – but just the way you wrote it and the way your characters lived and how things found their solutions absolutely made thoughts of action just pass by. You pleased every bit of my romance heart, that one that cries for happy love with this something. I will say something stupid now – But I so wished it would have been longer. As said – more conflicts, more PAIN and hurt and whatnot, but that’s just me and my neverending love for suffering and hurt and comfort.

There is nothing serious sitting in my head that I would put down as critic. Story is definitely not too long; the scenes are balanced in a great way so one doesn’t get tired but always stays with you and continues; the change of POV cleans the head and, well, absence makes the heart grow fonder, too. If I come up with something I absolutely despised, I’ll come right back at you – but now, here, I am just happy I had such an amazing evening with such an amazing story and when I will post my final REC list on the 1st of August, this one will definitely be one of the top.

Thank you. Thank you so much for posting and sharing and proving once more there is still style in the fandom that absolutely tops the one of published authors. There should be more to say – but I think I’ve ranted too much again anyway. Thank you.

Keep up the great work.

Re: Well, you asked for it 02/02

Alan was Jared's best friend. He was the first one Jared confessed to when he realized he was gay. He was the first guy Jared thought of when he needed help, or advice or just needed to talk. He was the friend he experimented his first alcohol and weed with :) Alan was basically everything to him - friend, brother, father, lover (minus the sex) - all rolled into one. I cut out a huge chunk of text that explained all of this because it was sort of taking away from teh urgency of the present. But yeah.. that was Alan. And now imagine losing someone like that. You know why Jensen understands Jared's pain? Because he knows he would be crushed too if anything ever happened to Tom. Jared was bang on when he said Tom is Jensen's Alan. Because he is. And which is why all Tom had to do was look at the two of them together, see the way Jensen yearned for Jared's love and how Jared didn't admit it but clearly yearned it back. I guess... yeah.. he probably will still keep tabs on Jared for another 4-5 months haha. But he is willing to give him benefit of the doubt because Jensen trusts him. *shrugs* Did that ramble make any sense at all? :)

I'm so pleased that you actually thought about the characters and why they behaved the way they did in such detail sweetie. I guess its what we share in common when we aspire to be writers? We have to be such keen observers of human nature and behavior yeah? :) I love having these discussions with you!! :)

If I come up with something I absolutely despised, I’ll come right back at you
Oh you absolutely MUST!! Ordinarily I consider the source for every criticism I get. And since it is you I would be extremely keen to know if you think of something to improve on sweetie. Because I trust you with this completely! :) Please do let me know okay?

Thank YOU darling. I'll be all creepy now and admit to you that I've read your comments at least thrice every day since you posted them *blushes* :D You're not very good for my humility are you? ;) LOL. Thank you so so much for making this lovely effort for me darling. Your two comments would have to be the BEST birthday present I've ever received!! Thank you so so much!! *hugs you tight* Muwaaah!! :)

Wow, what a wonderful story! The best thing for me was that I fully expected it to end at the point that they were reunited in Chicago, but then you kept going! Stories like this usually end with the big declaration but you actually finished the story without just skipping to the happy ending (small side-note, the ending made me CRY!).

Anyhoo, really really enjoyed this story, thanks very much for sharing it with us.

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing sweetie :) I did initially intend to stop at Chicago and then skip right up to 10 months ago where the Epilogue starts :) But then one of my betas thought the boys were trusting each other too easily and it all sounded too conveniently like love at first sight which doesn't usually happen. And so that's why I wrote chapter 6 - to show the teething troubles with them not completely trusting each other.. *shrugs* I hope it worked! :D

Awww *hands you tissues* The end is supposed to be uplifting! :) How I wish I had an Achilles to fund my dreams to set up shelters for homeless all over the world. Alas.. *sighs*

Okay I'll stop rambling now :p Thanks again, I'm so glad you enjoyed it! :)

This isn't the type of premise that usually appeals to me, mainly because it's only rarely executed well. So, I was surprised to like this as much as I did, but your writing pulled me in from the start.

What really worked for me with this was the strong characterisation and development of Jared. He was really well formed, explored and explained. I can't begin to explain how important that factor was for me. I'm terrible about good characterisation, and easily jarred out of reading if it doesn't feel believable to me. And the fact that you kept him very strong despite his circumstances was a really important factor in that.

I loved the back and forth structure of the narrative, that the writing was strong enough to explain itself without the need for temporal indicators at every shift.

And I loved the ending because the foundation's introduction was really well written, not over stated and gave a really poignancy to the epilogue.

Also, you made me cry so much whilst reading this I got teased by my other half and had to run out the room to retrieve tissues. This was really fantastic. Thank you so much for sharing it.

Thank you so very much for your kind words hon :) I'm really really glad and relieved to hear that the characterization worked for you. As a reader it's the most important thing for me as well, so yeah I try! *grins sheepishly*
This made you cry really? Awww :) Thank you so much hon.. you've no idea how much your feedback means to me.
*hugs*

Man, I love the moment when Jensen reveals that he knew what was happening all along! It can be really hard to take a situation like this and bring it around to this kind of a happy ending, but I'm glad you did. It was definitely what I needed to read today. :)

I would never put anyone through 35k words only to have them disappointed with an ending that's not happy! :) Thank you so very much for reading and for your awesome review hon. I'm glad it worked for you when you needed it :)

I enjoyed the twists you put in here. I wasn't expeting Jensen to have known at all, though it's pretty obvious in retrospect. And Jared had an interesting backstory, and, it would seem, a full future to look forward to being able to bring his experiences to his new work.

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing hon :) So glad to hear that crucial Jensen reveal worked.. if that one had fallen flat everything else would have failed too, whew! ;) I'm really glad you enjoyed this, cheers!