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JM: Young tilted head closeup


Rebelling against Reality since 2003


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JM: Young tilted head closeup

SPN fic: Touched by Darkness (gen)

Title: Touched by Darkness
Summary: Gen. A possible future drabble. Sequel to “Line of Sight”. Sam has another seizure.
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Language
Word Count: 887
Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing. Not for profit.
Author’s Notes: Okay so one-shot no more heh. Will have a couple more parts. Vague spoilers for S2 finale and core plot for S3.


“Go to sleep, Sammy. Please, just go to sleep.”

Dean takes the ice cold hand in both his warm ones and holds on tight. The tremors still keep coming strong as ever, like Sam is re-living a nightmare, the nightmare, over and over again. And there is not a damn thing Dean can do but wait for the drugs to kick in. Which sometimes they do, and sometimes they don’t.

Can’t believe he is actually wishing to go back to his usual chanting of “wake up, Sammy please wake up.” At least, when Sam is calm and unresponsive on the surface, Dean can pretend that he is okay inside.

Swallows his tears of frustration down, watches as Sam’s glassed over eyes stay fixed on the moving shadows overhead even while the rest of his body convulses violently against the restraints. The doctor comes in to try one more time.

“Mr. Carpenter, it’s been three hours. He is clearly not responding to medication. You have to let us give it another try…”

“I said NO!!!”

Dean’s voice is loud and firm and downright scary, not that Sam is listening thank God, maybe. He is not going to let them stick electrodes all over his little brother’s body and shock the hell out of him again. His brother isn’t crazy, just… trapped. He allowed it four months ago and Dean never wants to hear Sam whimper like that ever again. Nor is he ready to have Sam start flinching away from his touch again any time soon.

The scientists are baffled beyond belief – how could a perfectly healthy twenty-four year old suddenly develop such an extreme form of catatonic schizophrenia practically overnight? Dean knows how, and science unfortunately will not buy his explanation for it.

“There is nothing they can do for him,” Bobby had said, his voice breaking. “Not when Sam’s been touched by such darkness, the greatest and darkest of them all…”

Dean pushes the terrible memories away, glares at the Swedish medic until he leaves the room in a hurry, then returns to his chair beside Sam’s bed. Squeezes the hand again until he hears bones crack, and he starts to talk.

“I called Bobby, he’s gonna be here anytime now, kiddo. Hang in there, alright? I got ya, shhh… I got ya…”

Sam continues to gasp and tremble, his struggles half-hearted and infrequent as he gradually exhausts himself. His fingers fall loose splaying out and Dean entwines them with his own. Strongly suspects it to be a greater comfort for him than it is for Sam.

“It’s a full moon night, you’re gonna love it. I know I will.”

Bobby pulls the wheelchair in after him and Dean quickly gets to work. Undoes the straps so quietly even Sam doesn’t seem to notice. Together they quickly dress him in clothes that once fit Sam well, but now hang off his emaciated frame as if from a hanger. Dean bundles him up in a coverlet as well as his own leather jacket to keep him warm. And then they’re off.

It’s when Dean is lifting him out from the wheelchair and buckling him into the seat that his agitation briefly returns. “C’mon, work with me here little brother, or you’re going in the back. You wanna ride shotgun don’t you? Don’t you Sammy?”

The interstate leading out of Boston is empty and wide open given it’s barely four in the morning. Sam stays slumped in his seat, his head resting on top of it with arms loosely crossed in front of his stomach exactly where Dean left them. Dean watches Sam about as closely as he does the road, and anyone else might have easily missed it… but Dean doesn’t.

The eyelids flutter first, then the head comes up just that discernible bit. Dean casually rolls his window down and Sam lifts his face to feel the cool fall’s breeze washing over his skin… touch the shimmering moonlight like he hasn’t in a very long time.

His wheezing recedes until all they hear is the proud rumble of the ’67 Impala. Dean exhales heavily, reaches out a hand to softly ruffle Sam’s hair and expectedly, with the latest episode now behind them, he gets no reaction.

Hour later, Dean takes the exit back to Mass General where he knows absolute chaos must have ensued by now. He smirks and looks at the old man in his rearview mirror. “Thanks for looking after my car, Bobby. Think I needed to get out of there as much as my little troublemaker here…”

The old man dabs discretely at the corner of an eye but before he can respond, Dean is furiously slamming the brakes and pulling onto the gravel.


“Did you hear him?”

Bobby frowns. “Did he say something?”

Dean leans closer to Sam’s placid face, eyes wide and frowning. “I thought I heard him… like, a laugh. Scoff or something…”

Silence follows for maybe a minute as Bobby stays frozen, Sam stays impassive as always and Dean stays… hopeful.

Bobby sighs, can’t decide who his heart is breaking for more – Sam for the state he is in, or Dean for getting his hopes dashed over and over again. Chooses instead to curse a little; that usually helps.

“Roll up the window, you ijjit. It’s freakin’ cold outside.”


A/N: Please let me know what you think?

aww poor boys. you got me all excited at the end. i thought sam was gonna wake up! looking forward to more. i like this AU.

Well Dean will not stop trying to get him back hon, don't worry :) Thank you for reading! Glad you like..

Oh gosh. You had me at "Sam has a seizure", because that is top of my bullet-proof kink list, but oh gosh. This was so... Oh, Dean. Oh, Sam. Oh, Bobby. It hurts, but it hurts so good. I love that Dean and Bobby break Sam out of the hospital, and I love that Sam calms down once he's in the Impala. I love the contrast between Dean wishing Sam would just wake up and Dean so desperate, wishing that he would go to sleep. And I love that Sam maybe said something. Augh!

You're going to continue this, right? *stares at you until you do*

I love that Dean and Bobby break Sam out of the hospital, and I love that Sam calms down once he's in the Impala.
Thank you! I figured Sam's unique condition would require unique unconventional ways to deal with it. And maybe possibly Sam was practically brought up in the Impala.. he should feel more secure and comfortable there than anywhere else? :)

Thank you so much for reading hon! No need to glare, I will continue this, yes I will :)

Aw! Poor Dean! He'll never be happy again until Sam's himself again.

*wonders if you're going to fix them.*

Can't wait for more!

Ah so you're a Dean girl are ya ;-P I do intend to fix them hon :) Thank you so much for reading!

(Deleted comment)
Hey sweetie!! :) Thanks for reading Vince. I know this got really angsty but I promise to fix them soon, hopefully ;P Awww don't be sad hon *hugs* Its amazing how much these boys affect us isn't it.
cheers hon and Merry Christmas!! :)

Hon, ya gotta fix them!! My heart will only take so much!!!

That previous comment was from me!!!

I sure hope Dean is right! Perhaps Sam IS coming out of this a bit? Oh, that would be wonderful! Love, Robin

Perhaps Sam IS coming out of this a bit?

Well... ummm.. maybe? *preens* ;) Thank you so much for reading hon. There will be a resolution soon I promise! *hugs*

Please more soon? *begs* Great story! :)

Thank you so much for reading sweetie! I'm so happy you liked *hugs* :)

Bobby sighs, can’t decide who his heart is breaking for more
Neither can I. *sobs* You're going to fix them in the end, right?

Love your style in writing and can't wait to see where you're taking this.

I absolutely will fix them sweetie! *hugs* Thank you so much for your awesome feedback, will try to update soon :)

omg I've fallen in love with this. XD

Thank you so much for reading! I'm glad you liked it hon :)

Oh so heart breaking.


*hugs* Thank you for reading hon. Will be fixed soon, promise :)

Bobby sighs, can’t decide who his heart is breaking for more – Sam for the state he is in, or Dean for getting his hopes dashed over and over again. Chooses instead to ask the writer to make them better =D

I love this one. It hurts. A lot. But in the best of ways. Looking forward for more.

Chooses instead to ask the writer to make them better =D

Haha! I do plan to make it all better hon *hugs*, couldn't possibly leave them like this myself *sniffs* Thank you so much for reading :)

poor Sammy...breaks my heart to think of him like this, but it's an excellent AU!
Absolutely love it and can't wait for more!

Thanks hon! :) I'm glad you're enjoying this..

You had me at "Sam has a seizure." That will catch any one's attention. I'm loving this little set of stories. I'm loving this caring Dean. I know he would never give up on Sam and vice versa. I'm hoping that Sam will get better soon, though. That was cruel at the end....I was really hoping that Sam had spoken! Can't wait to read more!

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing hon :) Sorry for the bit at the end.. not sure myself if Dean really did hear something or was it just his hopeful imagination heh ;) cheers hon! And your icon is really cute :P Merry Christmas!

I really love it so far, and I'm excited to read more! How did Sam end up that way? I'm dying to know! I love protective!Dean and limp!Sam, fantastic!
I can't want to read more! Keep up the great writing!

I hope your questions get answered hon, altho I don't guarantee it haha ;) Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! Glad you liked..

You keep breaking my heart. ;_;

Awww, I'm sorry sweetheart *hugs* :) And thank you so much for reading.