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JM: Young tilted head closeup

cyndrarae

Rebelling against Reality since 2003

v14.0


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JM: Young tilted head closeup
cyndrarae

Upset ranting and a question. Actually, several...

I have a request for you guys..

Since you were kind enough to friend me, I assume you have been reading the stuff I write yeah? So I guess you would be the best people to answer this question. Umm... okay see there is this author (who shall forever remain unnamed) that I used to like. And now I don't anymore, because I just realized that all her writing,  ALL of her fifty something series are exactly the same - DEPRESSING.

And dark and hopeless. She keeps breaking the characters down, puts them through so much angst and torture until there is nothing left. And then she does it some more. Even the sex isn't hot, it's just kinda... sad. Dubious consent at best. And I have a point I swear. Okay, let me try again.

See this author... the way she writes is so riveting and so bloody... GOOD that... I can't help but get emotionally involved. I start to relate more than I want to. But the thing is, the plot - the characters' circumstances just keep getting worse and worse and it doesn't get better, ever. Even at the end when the big bad is defeated and it's time to start healing and stuff, it's like... she doesn't really want to go there, where things are getting better. She touches upon them like briefly then shies away to a new torture series. The bad parts are graphic and excruciatingly detailed. And I wonder why she writes the way she does. Every writer has demons of his or her own that they're trying to exorcise through this creative outlet.

I feel for her, I really do. But I cannot put myself through this again.

I cannot, will not read her ever again because she just brings me down so horribly. I keep thinking about it and fret about it and smoke a couple more than my usual limit for the day and sometimes, when I'm three or more glasses of wine down like now, I start to cry and have to literally smack myself in the forehead to remind me that it's not real. That it's only fiction.

Yeah, that's how good she is. So.. I'm done with her. Which brings me back to my original reason for this post.

Now I write a considerable amount of angst myself right. And clearly it is a level of pathos I am personally comfortable with, just like the writer mentioned above is comfortable with hers. But what do YOU guys as READERS think? Have I written something, anything so far that has brought you down? Upset you somehow? Made you feel like - "Dude, this is way too painful for me." ? Or "Dude, what is this girl's childhood trauma??" Or "Okay. Reading that one was a mistake." ???

Because, I don't think I want to be that kind of writer that makes people sad. I want to write happy stuff, optimistic stuff. Altho realistically speaking, I suck at fluff. But the least I can do is... write something hopeful you know. And not offload my personal demons onto my readers. I just don't want to do that.

So... umm... I need to know what you guys think? And if there is a piece of my writing that upsets you?

I probably won't take it down for the sake of maintaining my archive to show progress made (bleh if any!) through the years. But it would really help me understand myself and my writing a little more. This is not an attempt to go professional in any way haha. My stupid job and my husband and my dog keep me busy plenty enough thank you. I just... I'm curious you know?

Is there any reason for why we write angst in the first place? And why do we even read it?? What the fuck do we get out of these sad, tragic stories????

........

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I cannot recall that any of your stories were too depressing or upsetting at all.

I think I know which writer you speak of, although I suppose there are a number of writers who only do dark and depressing. I'm one of those readers who likes angstfic, when I list my favorite stories, I almost invariably find that they are very very dark. I recently thought over this issue myself - in a way I find reading the dark stuff cathartic, I find it easier to let go and feel sad over someone else's story more than my own life. On the other hand, I worry that it triggers my depression more to read so much of this stuff. I mostly just try not to read only these kinds of stories for hours at a time, that definitely can't be good for my state of mental health. But I find a lot of fluff stories to be dead boring and OOC, and if I read nothing but NC17, I get totally jaded to that after awhile, which isn't fun. So for me, I like to mix it up, but I understand that some people are more sensitive to violence and would rather avoid those stories. I'm pretty masculine in my entertainment taste, I guess.

I cannot recall that any of your stories were too depressing or upsetting at all.

Great! *sighs in relief* I know different people have different limits, but i still wouldn't want to bring anyone down.

I recently thought over this issue myself - in a way I find reading the dark stuff cathartic, I find it easier to let go and feel sad over someone else's story more than my own life. On the other hand, I worry that it triggers my depression more to read so much of this stuff.

I guess what you're saying is that excess of anything is a bad thing, and I agree. That particular author has written long series with 30-40 chapters right. So if you try to read one whole series in one sitting - oh God, I wouldn't recommend it. It was so seriously upsetting, I had to get up and pace and grab my jacket to step out just so I could smoke in the freakin' rain. I don't know why I reacted so badly. You may be right about it triggering your depression even more, because it sure did with me.

So for me, I like to mix it up, but I understand that some people are more sensitive to violence and would rather avoid those stories. I'm pretty masculine in my entertainment taste, I guess.

:) My husband won't admit it but I know he enjoys reality shows and romantic comedies :D I should be worried shouldn't I? LOL. Seriously speaking hon, don't see anything wrong with a taste for angst and violence. I like NC-17 non-con stuff myself, when I'm in the mood for it. But I guess mixing up is a good idea. You may think you have high tolerance but you never know how it is affecting your psyche right? 'cause it's a very slow progression. *shrugs* Thanks for talking to me hon :)

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