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JM: Young tilted head closeup


Rebelling against Reality since 2003


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JM: Young tilted head closeup

Upset ranting and a question. Actually, several...

I have a request for you guys..

Since you were kind enough to friend me, I assume you have been reading the stuff I write yeah? So I guess you would be the best people to answer this question. Umm... okay see there is this author (who shall forever remain unnamed) that I used to like. And now I don't anymore, because I just realized that all her writing,  ALL of her fifty something series are exactly the same - DEPRESSING.

And dark and hopeless. She keeps breaking the characters down, puts them through so much angst and torture until there is nothing left. And then she does it some more. Even the sex isn't hot, it's just kinda... sad. Dubious consent at best. And I have a point I swear. Okay, let me try again.

See this author... the way she writes is so riveting and so bloody... GOOD that... I can't help but get emotionally involved. I start to relate more than I want to. But the thing is, the plot - the characters' circumstances just keep getting worse and worse and it doesn't get better, ever. Even at the end when the big bad is defeated and it's time to start healing and stuff, it's like... she doesn't really want to go there, where things are getting better. She touches upon them like briefly then shies away to a new torture series. The bad parts are graphic and excruciatingly detailed. And I wonder why she writes the way she does. Every writer has demons of his or her own that they're trying to exorcise through this creative outlet.

I feel for her, I really do. But I cannot put myself through this again.

I cannot, will not read her ever again because she just brings me down so horribly. I keep thinking about it and fret about it and smoke a couple more than my usual limit for the day and sometimes, when I'm three or more glasses of wine down like now, I start to cry and have to literally smack myself in the forehead to remind me that it's not real. That it's only fiction.

Yeah, that's how good she is. So.. I'm done with her. Which brings me back to my original reason for this post.

Now I write a considerable amount of angst myself right. And clearly it is a level of pathos I am personally comfortable with, just like the writer mentioned above is comfortable with hers. But what do YOU guys as READERS think? Have I written something, anything so far that has brought you down? Upset you somehow? Made you feel like - "Dude, this is way too painful for me." ? Or "Dude, what is this girl's childhood trauma??" Or "Okay. Reading that one was a mistake." ???

Because, I don't think I want to be that kind of writer that makes people sad. I want to write happy stuff, optimistic stuff. Altho realistically speaking, I suck at fluff. But the least I can do is... write something hopeful you know. And not offload my personal demons onto my readers. I just don't want to do that.

So... umm... I need to know what you guys think? And if there is a piece of my writing that upsets you?

I probably won't take it down for the sake of maintaining my archive to show progress made (bleh if any!) through the years. But it would really help me understand myself and my writing a little more. This is not an attempt to go professional in any way haha. My stupid job and my husband and my dog keep me busy plenty enough thank you. I just... I'm curious you know?

Is there any reason for why we write angst in the first place? And why do we even read it?? What the fuck do we get out of these sad, tragic stories????


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I think the reason we write and the reason angst are really similar.

I write angst when I'm going through a difficult time. It helps me confront my emotions and feel better just by getting them down on paper or a computer screen. Two summers ago when I had a bad relapse (I have severe clinical depression) and didn't get out of bed for two months, bad things happened to my characters. Two of them were kidnapped and tortured and one the guy was forced to rape the girl (but I didn't write this out, just spoke about it in after a medical exam or something like). She turned up pregnant and her husband went back to Earth and sent back divorce papers. (One of my best friends is still trying to get me to write a reconciliation.)

I read angst for similar reasons, that emotional release. I'm not really into the graphic details of torture or anything. I keep a couple really angsty fic in reserve for when I really want some. :) But I have to say for the most part, if I see a warning for angst, I won't read it. I bring myself down enough that I don't need other writers for that.

P.S. I do really love your fic.

When I'm depressed, and I probably shouldn't be using the term at all since I never got myself checked for it, I can't write period. All these thoughts keep piling up in my head but I can't find the energy to let it out. I think I start writing only after it passes. And by then I'm calmer so it reflects in my writing.

But you're right, when I read in that kind of a mindset - I'm looking for horribly angsty, or NC-17 non-con or dub-con stuff. But it absolutely must end well with lots of h/c as fanficcers put it :)

But I have to say for the most part, if I see a warning for angst, I won't read it. I bring myself down enough that I don't need other writers for that.

*hugs* Sweetie that's an awesome attitude. And I agree completely! It's why i don't want to be one of those writers that offload all their angst onto unsuspecting readers and bring them down. Thank you so much for reading hon :)

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