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cyndrarae

Rebelling against Reality since 2003

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cyndrarae

X-Men fic: Hiding Behind the Truth (Scott/Logan ficathon challenge)

Title: Hiding Behind the Truth
Verse: X-Men movieverse, post-X2. X3 never happened.
Disclaimer: I own nothing and no one from the X-men movies. Just the convoluted plot is mine.
Summary: Scott has been living in a self-imposed exile.
Warnings: Dubious consent. Slash.
Rating: Hard R, also see warning.
Author Notes: For xenasoul’s Scott/Logan ficathon challenge (sorry I'm late hon!). Prompt: Denial. 
Once again displaying my utter inability to write porn without getting it mushy and sentimental *sighs* Oh well, I wrote it because I wanted to read it. Title inspired by Ozzy’s song “Denial”.
Word Count: 5350

**

- SCOTT-

Sixty-two minutes.
Scott looks down at the red digital display, realizes he’s been running far longer than he’d originally planned to, again. Gathers his scrambled thoughts, slows down and finally gets off the treadmill. Grabs a towel and heads for the showers.

Still three weeks to go before new school term starts.
Scott takes the liberty of using the gym for now, prefers it because it’s in the far-east corner of the mansion, away from the dorms and bedrooms. Chances of his working out in the middle of the night ruining someone’s sleep are minimal. Not that there is anyone in the mansion tonight.

Warren flew in (literally) two days ago.
Generously offered up his castle in New Zealand for a holiday to the kids who don’t have a home to go back to for the break. Ro and Kurt accompanied him and the kids, but he stayed, to prepare for the new term – schedules and stuff. And Logan stayed, apparently to oversee the reconstruction work and stuff. The Professor stayed, and Scott is pretty sure he has a valid enough reason as well.

He stands under the shower and loses track of time again.
Gives in to a little sensualism as he lets the strong torrents of lukewarm water wash his sweat and grime away. Thinks of the time he and the beautiful, blonde Angel used to be students here, at Mutant High. How they’d shower together, exploring each other, fucking each other… wasting water. Remembers the way Warren’s eyes would follow him everywhere he went. Still do.

Looks down at his limp, flaccid cock.
Ruefully snorts at how he’s not even remotely tempted to touch it. Hasn’t in four months, ever since… ever since Jean. Life is cruel in its deliverance of retribution, he thinks. He left Warren for Jean and the man never did let go. And now Scott’s a complete wreck because Jean left him for… for what? The greater fucking good? Turns the knob to scalding hot, resists the urge to sink to his knees right there in the shower stall.

He hates this life, this heavy burden on his shoulders.
Why does he always have to be the responsible one? Why is he supposed to carry on like it’s business as usual for the sake of a world that despises him? A thankless, selfish world that captures and tortures him, forces him to be the cause of his own lover’s death? Scott wants to punch something, bad. But he refrains because the gym’s been recently renovated, thanks to Logan.

Logan. A shudder runs down his wet spine.
The very thought of that man raises his hackles like nothing else. Sonofabitch. Tries not to think of how the man used to look at his Jean, his fiancé Jean. Doesn’t want to think about how he often caught her looking back at him too. But what irks him the most is the memory of collapsing into Logan’s arms and bawling like a stupid little kid. Maybe there were extenuating circumstances, hell of course there were. But that single moment of weakness had tipped the scales of balance between the two eternally bickering men for ever.

Forget bickering. Scott couldn’t even look at him anymore.
Which doesn’t mean he spins a 180-degree every time he sees the man. Nope, far from it. They still talk… about stuff. Like the re-plastering of the northern wall, and new layouts for the gym and basketball court. They test out new sims together in the Danger Room, sometimes lunch together ‘cause hell, it is after all just the three of them (besides the hired help). They’ve managed to create a semblance of normalcy, a capricious truce. Doesn’t mean he has to like it. Makes him uncomfortable, that man. His frequent staring, keeping not so subtle tabs on Scott’s whereabouts. Who the hell did he think he was?

Scott winces at the insistent tugging down below.
Sure enough, when he looks down, he’s hard as a freakin’ rock. Throbbing damn near painfully and angrily because… God it’s been far too long. And yet, he can’t bring himself to do it. It feels so damn… wrong.
Turning hot to cold doesn’t work either, only stings like a thousand tiny needles piercing every patch of over-sensitized skin. He turns the water off, wipes droplets off his goggles and steps out of the stall. As his lowered eyes travel down to the bench where he laid out the towel, he spots something that wasn’t there before. A pair of jeans-clad legs.

Logan is leaning against a locker. His locker.
Stands with his arms crossed, relaxed like he’s out at some bar holding a beer, checking out prospects for the night. Scott blushes furiously under his keen gaze, unwavering, unreadable. Every instinct in his body yells at him to run and hide, but Cyclops the field leader’s ego couldn’t possibly allow that. As casually as he can, Scott approaches the bench. Unfortunately that also means stepping closer to the other man, and he’s still buck naked.

“What are you doing here?”

Can’t keep the indignation out of his voice though. Reaches for the towel and almost sighs in relief when he manages to wrap it around his waist, cover his modesty. Logan doesn’t move an inch.

“Watching you.”

The hackles? Yeah, back. Raging and swirling making the hair at the back of neck stand up in nervous salutation.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean Logan?”


**
- LOGAN -


Logan’s been watching him.
Ever since his girl took the freakin’ Samadhi in the lake, and took a part of him along with her. Still a preppy boy scout sure, still prissy and tightassed and a fucking snob sure, but it was more act now than ever before. His stoicalness a painfully evident (at least to Logan) mask that protected him from concerned glances and condoling words that meant less than nothing to him. Summers used to be the fucking champion, the leader and motivator. Now he can barely keep it together to convince others that he still believes.

He tried to fight it, he really did.
Tried not to follow him around with his sharp gaze, tried not to be worried when he took unnecessary risks in the Danger Room. Logan pretended he didn’t hear the sobs at night from Scott’s new room that was just three doors away, buried his head in the pillows to block out the heavy footsteps pacing back and forth all night. Looked away from the dark circles under his eyes when once he took his glasses off to clear the lenses in Xavier’s office. Only to get caught staring straight into Xavier’s… and again he pretended… not to see the silent plea in the depths of a helpless father’s eyes.

Then last week, the blonde birdie flew in (literally).
And this time, he didn’t pretend to have missed the silent exchange of looks between the two men, hell why should he? No matter what their new equation (in the aftermath of Jean) Cyclops and Wolverine still loved to get a dig into each other now and then. Was fun to watch Scott squirm when Logan cracked a dirty joke (something about tabs and slots, he doesn’t remember now) and in front of Warren at that. Hell, he thinks Scott actually blushed. But apparently Warren wasn’t allowed to stay, and Logan found himself quietly cheering.

And so here he is.
He knows Scott works out at night to tire himself out enough to sleep, has known for awhile now. He watches the slender body stand deathly still under the deluge of water night after night. And mostly he leaves before Scott steps out and discovers him and his new kink for voyeurism. But not tonight. Tonight, Logan gives in to his feral instincts he’s kept at bay for so damn long. Tonight, he screws up his courage and goes for it.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean Logan?”

The younger man is obviously pissed, flushed red almost as dark as his rose glasses but not quite. Sonofabitch, Logan thinks, that’s one hell of a boner the boy is sporting and he’s just going to hang it out to dry? No pun intended.
 
“I like watching you.”

He shrugs, no reason to beat around the bush at this point. Takes the moment of stunned silence that follows, to recover from a rapid exodus of blood from his brain and straight into his cock.

Scott picks up a smaller towel and dries his hair, like nothing’s amiss, like Logan is not still gawking his eyes out at a semi-naked him. Logan takes in the beautiful sight of this man’s slender but toned, silken smooth torso… lowers his eyes to the strong thighs and imagines how they’d feel like squeezing the life out of him when he put his…

“Remind me to take you off of gym class when the kids come back.”

Oh, so he thinks he’s figured him all out?

“How long has it been?”

“Since what?”

Logan smirks openly, can’t resist.

“Since you cleaned out that shotgun in your towel?”


**
- SCOTT -


Scott can’t believe what he just heard. There really is no level too low for this fucking arrogant, obnoxious, vulgar illiterate freakin’ lout of unknown origin, to stoop to. He turns away quickly, hoping Logan didn’t notice that he’s started to tent outrageously.

“Really not in the mood for male bonding, asshole.” Cranes his neck back so Logan sees the plastic smile on his profile. “But thanks!”

Then turns back away, and prays the pig-headed man would just fucking leave. Logan carries on like he didn’t hear a word.

“Ever since Jean?”

Scott gulps his rage back, turns then.

“Get out.” He hisses.

Logan steps in closer and God this man was impossible! Scott wants to back up, but he won’t let himself. He needs to stand his ground.

“I know your scent.”

What?

“Could smell you on Jean all the time. Used to drive me crazy.”

Scott doesn’t stop to question the mild sense of relief at hearing someone else speak her name. Everyone else around him pretends like she never existed. Gnashes his teeth and now fuck, he is so pissed.

“You’re a demented bastard, you know that?”

Logan smirks, takes another step closer. “Yeah I’ve heard that before.”

“What do you WANT, Logan?”

Another step. “I miss that scent Cyke. More than I miss your girl.”

The tone of his voice, so low and gruff… and now Scott does back up, because fuck… was he reading those words right? Did Logan just say what he thinks he said?

“L-Logan…”

“Scott.”

Aargh. His erection chooses that very moment to twitch in utter anticipation (of what? No… fuck, don’t go there!) Had Logan ever used that name before?

“Ju-Just… stay where you are.”

Logan smiles then. Scott hears his own voice echo back to him and it sounds breathless and forced and he is utterly mortified. Can’t stop retropedaling until he is interrupted by the wall of lockers just behind him. And Logan is still advancing in on him. Maybe he’s kidding? Maybe he is supposed to laugh? So he does.

“Cut it out dude, this isn’t…”

Funny.

But he doesn’t get to complete. The Wolverine is suddenly right in his face and not for the first time, Scott wonders how a man with such bulk and mass can move so freakin’ fast. Logan lunges at him, crushing him into the lockers with his body weight and Scott lashes out reflexively. But the other man anticipates his move and grabs his wrists in his own hands, flinging them hard against the wall on either side of Scott’s head. Scott tries to kick out but there is hardly any space to so much as twitch between the two bodies.

“Fuck! Logan!!”

He struggles with all his strength but Logan is simply too heavy, simply too determined to see this through.

“You can deny yourself all you want, Cyke. How will you deny me?”

“Sonofabitch, let me go!”

Logan buries his face in the crook of Scott’s neck and takes a deep sniff, like a hound dog familiarizing itself with its prey. He bites down at the pulse point so sharply that Scott stops struggling, frozen in fear that Logan might actually rip the flesh off with his razor sharp teeth. The fear in turn spikes his erection and Scott lets loose a groan (or a moan, but he doesn’t want to think about that) and throws his head back against the locker behind, hitting it hard. He thinks he can actually see red spots or stars in his lenses and goes lax completely.

“That’s a good boy.”

Logan growls ever so softly, bringing Scott back to reality. His chest heaves with the effort of breathing, and he tells himself it’s just the air conditioning making achy pebbles out of his nipples.

“Logan. I am not consenting to this. You can’t…”

“Shhhh….”

What the- ? Fucking bastard!! How dare he shush him? But God the way Logan tongues at his jugular, kneads the skin of his wrists in his gigantic paws, and the warmth of his frame against his own cold, naked body…

Shit. Scott realizes a flimsy towel is all that shields him from Logan’s animalistic urges and he has no doubt the other man can already feel the erection underneath. That’s the other thing puzzling him, what sort of a closeted sicko must he be, to actually enjoy this?

He writhes beneath Logan. No… he is not enjoying this. Not at all. But then Logan presses his own hard erection against his, and Scott is so shocked by the overwhelming sensation, it throws all other trains of thought off track. Logan grinds against him (up and down and repeat) until he moans again and unconsciously starts to grind back. With a horrified jolt he realizes how quickly he is going to ejaculate if this carries on another second! Fights to get his wrists back from the brute, in vain.

Logan is still burrowed into his neck, licking up from his collarbone to his jaw-line and back, literally like a wolf. Then he raises his head and his open mouth hovers bare millimeters over Scott’s.

“Your mouth says one thing, your body something else… think I hafta go with the one that doesn’t wish me dead twenty times a day.”

“F-Forty. And trust me, I do wish it with every drop of blood in my body!”

Logan chuckles and grinds in again, nuzzling into Scott’s ear and cheek and leaves behind a delicious sting of stubble burn before returning to the bobbing projection in the front of his throat.

Delicious?

Scott flinches. Hard. He is steadily losing control, and… no, he couldn’t allow himself to… No. He just couldn’t. 

"Logan..."

Logan pulls away just enough to fix him with a cold gaze, and something akin to frustration and… hurt? Scott isn’t quite sure. Then he scowls, and mutters through audibly grinding teeth.

“Fine.” 

He backs off then, taking his entire body weight off of the younger man and Scott thinks it’s over. Logan was going to let him go, abandon this madness and walk away. Which is good, right? For a split-second he regrets the loss of warmth and an insane urge to pull Logan back threatens to overcome him but he suppresses it. The fear dissipates only to be replaced by an irrational sense of rejection and he sags ever so slightly.

It’s over.

And then he gasps, because in the very next and very short instant, he is grabbed by his arms, pulled away from the wall and roughly turned around, only to be shoved back against it with a loud crash. The maneuver knocks the breath out of him and he’s too stunned to react when Logan yanks the towel off his body. The entire bulk of the Wolverine lands against him once again, but this time his bare butt is directly in contact with Logan’s denim-clad, enormously sized bulge.

“Oh God…”

The cold steel of the locker tickles his weeping erection and Logan’s furnace warmth heats him up from behind.

“Logan… please….”

Even if he is aware that he is now resorted to pleading, he still isn’t too sure what he’s asking for. Logan is grinding into his ass again.

“Pretend all you want, pretty boy. It’s how you live your life now don’t ya? Pretend you’re okay. Pretend Jeannie ain’t dead and you owe her some kinda fucking loyalty, or some kinda penance, or whatever.”

Scott winces his eyes shut, because try as he might, there was no denying the cruel words.

“Pretend I’m Warren.”

He doesn’t get a chance to counter, mind reeling with the truths and the not-truths and a hand lets go of a wrist and comes around to grasp his cock into a warm, strong fist and fucking Jesus this is too damn good and too damn hot and he hasn’t come in four months!

“Aaah!!”

That is it.

Scott comes with a wail that seems a cross between a moan and a sob and he just keeps on coming and it hurts like hell both inside and out. Logan continues to jerk him in short stiff pumping movements and Scott isn’t fighting him anymore. Hell, spreads his legs even further apart to allow his tormentor easier access. He mewls, surrenders to the myriad mix of sensations… of relief, and pain and ecstasy… and liberation.

“Shhhh…”

Scott drops his head back until it lands on the broad chest. Feels good to let someone else carry his dead weight for a while. When he stops leaking at last, he is content to just stand there, exhausted. Not protesting anymore, not caring, not worrying… not thinking.

Nothing.


**
- LOGAN -


Logan stands stock still, letting the boy rest against him, reveling in the sudden peacefulness. He looks down at his own erection with sympathy and regret, mentally promises himself to take care of it later. Right now, he’s got an infinitely tortured but insanely beautiful field leader to take care of. He sniffs the air now filled with the very scent of Scott he’s missed so damn much. Buries his nose in Scott’s still wet hair and inhales deeply. Wonders what the chances were that Scott would forgive him once he drifted out of the afterglow of his release that’s been a long time coming. Again, no pun intended.

Heck, he’s always been an aggressor, and tonight more so than ever. But damn if he’s ever crossed the line of absolute consent one way or another, and damn did Scott enjoy it or what. Okay so he’s probably going to be a whole lot bitchier than usual for about a week. But surely he won’t begrudge him a little manhandling, not after Logan just made him come like that!

He breathes in another sweet whiff of ivory and white musk and it’s then he realizes that Scott is out. Like a fucking light.

“Shit.”

Bends down and hoists Scott up into his arms, then walks back to the other end of the mansion to his new room.

He lays him out on the bed and covers him up to the waist with his sissy white bed sheets. Scott immediately turns to curl up on his side facing away from Logan and the older man is getting really irritated by this habit of his. Even in his fucking sleep!

Against his best instincts, Logan lowers himself onto the bed, stretches out behind Scott. Clasps his hands behind his neck and leans back against the headboard. Wonders what he’s still doing here; wonders why he doesn’t feel the need to leave. Cyke once said it’s the one and only thing he’s ever any good at.

Logan watches the kid as he ever so slowly floats back into consciousness. He stirs, then freezes up, so easy to pinpoint the exact second in which the memories must’ve rushed back into the boy’s befuddled brain. Maybe, he thinks, Scott is deliberating if he should continue to play dead, until Logan got tired of waiting and went away. Decides to nip the idiotic idea in the bud, brings an arm around Scott’s waist and softly scratches at his abs. Takes in every inch of golden skin, some covered and some not, that’s in teasingly slight contact with Logan’s own frame, and he can’t help but shiver.

“You’re gonna throw me out of your room? Now’s the time to do it.”

He can practically see the wheels turning in the other man’s head. Wishes for a millionth time he could look into Scott’s eyes, reading the man was a great deal more difficult than any other human, or mutant.

“No.”

It’s a quiet response, almost a whisper and if Logan didn’t have animal senses he’d have probably missed it. Sighs in muted relief, loosens his grip around the slim waist and tugs at a shoulder until Scott turns on to his back. But when he keeps his face averted, Logan taps the chiseled chin with a finger until Scott is annoyed enough to look up. Into his eyes. He doesn’t understand the sudden surge of… ah hell… affection he feels at the sight of all that sincerity and vulnerability in Scott’s face. He needs a diversion quick, before he says something stupid.

“So… was Warren any good?”

Scott winces.

“You were right about… about me. And about Jean. But not… not Warren. I don’t, he’s not…”

Ends with a frustrated exhale of air and turns away. Logan licks his chapped lips, this is probably not a time to let loose a victorious smirk so he controls himself. Simply nods, and continues to draw little circles with his fingertips on Scott’s belly.

“What about you?”

Huh? Logan looks up at him, and Scott is tentatively signaling with his eyebrows towards his evident erection. Bites back a chuckle but he might as well have guffawed in the boy’s face.

“You came too fast kid. And then you passed out.”

Scott scowls and laughs at the same time. Raises a hand to whack him in the chest and Logan lets him.

“Guess I should return the favor then?”

Logan’s eyes glass over when he feels a hand dip southwards until it reaches his crotch, stroking his bulge leisurely. But he holds himself back, hell he needs to. He still needs to be sure.

“Cyke wait. I want you to touch yourself.”

The boy stiffens and Logan feels his heart sink because evidently Scott is still deeply entrenched in his obsession with self-denial. How do you make a man happy if he is hell-bent on being miserable?

Scott starts to bite his lip, but opts to lick it instead. This is when the older man realizes that when Scott stiffened, every single part of him did, including his cock.

“Maybe I can do both?”

Oh God yes.

“…”

“Strip.”

It is an order.
Nothing less. Intoned as sharply and with as much authority as if Cyclops had said it in the middle of a crucial mission. He clearly expects to be obeyed and Logan is quick to oblige. Jumps off the bed and starts to get rid of the layers of clothes in such a hurry it makes Cyke laugh. He knows he’s ripped, he knows he’s hairy and he recognizes a very faint trace of apprehension emanating from Scott when the pants come off.

Good. He’s already thinking of penetration. Hell that’s good!

Logan comes back to bed and Scott pushes him down until he is flat on his back. Then he climbs on top of him, his eager cock sliding in right next to Logan’s own hard shaft and they both gasp in unison. One is maybe a lot more audible than the other. And apparently that’s exactly what Scott needs to hear because for a change, it’s not Logan who is smirking.

“Whimpering Wolverine… man, I must be good.”

Logan scowls back, wraps his arms round the slender body, possibly worried Scott might change his mind, but hell didn’t look like Scott is about to. Instead the man on top places one hand flat on the bed and digs his toes in for leverage… then wraps his free hand around the two shafts together. Gripping hard and strong like an iron fist.

The friction builds up once again, reaching a crescendo where it turns to fire, scorching hot all over and under his very skin and everywhere that his body is in contact with Scott’s… and that is absolutely everywhere. His hips rise and fall, working his way in and out of Scott’s very talented hand as he jerks both of them off. Scott stops for a second, looks around and Logan wonders what he’s doing. Then shrugs and raises his hand and spits right into it.

Holy mother of fuck. Explain how and why is that the most erotic thing Logan’s seen in, like, ever?

With the new lubrication, the slip sliding turns more urgent and carnal, and it’s not clear anymore who’s moaning what. Logan puts a hand around Scott’s, tightening the stranglehold and meanwhile puts his other hand across the swell of Scott’s ass, squeezing in tandem with the rhythmic stroking.

Logan didn’t realize how much he’s missed the touch of a lover until this very moment. And maybe Scott is aiming to last much longer than the first time around but Logan has been teased long enough. To hell with staying power. The animal inside of him needs the release and he needs it now.

When he comes, it’s with a massive growl, propelled by the look on Scott’s face that’s never looked so young and so freakin’ satisfied before. He falls back exhausted, and idly watches as Scott fists himself half a minute longer then comes a second time that night. Pearly white strings of jism decorate their torsos and he knows they’re going to be disgusted later but right now they’re both least bothered. Scott’s face is flushed and the creases on his forehead are smoothened out, and when the red glow disappears and he drops his head onto the chest beneath… Logan allows himself to relax at last.

“You thought I came too fast? Judging by your performance I’d guess you stopped aging at twelve, not twenty eight.”

Scott is grinning, and Logan just jostles him playfully and smirks.

“Yeah well, it’s been awhile.”

Scott scoffs. “Oh sure. Like twenty minutes?”

Logan just smiles and closes his eyes, very much prepared to sink into a deep healing sleep right this instant. But even with closed eyes, he can sense the shift in Cyke’s temperament, like he’d just figured something out. The younger man shifts until he lies beside Logan instead of on top of him, propped up on one elbow.

“Logan?”

“Hmm…”

“How long?”

He swallows, opens his eyes then.

“You were not the only one living in self-imposed exile for the last four months, Cyke.”


**
- SCOTT -


For the longest time, Scott didn’t know what to say. The words uttered earlier that night now returned to his mind but he still couldn’t believe what they were telling him.

“I miss that scent Scooter. More than I miss your girl.”

Oh God. He surely could have done without being reminded of Jean right now. The guilt that has been his sole companion ever since she died starts to surface again… eating away at his newfound sense of peace and poisoning the perfection of this moment.

“I didn’t understand it myself, for a long time. Thought I was chasing your girl, but I was wrong Cyke. Turns out I was chasing you. It was always about you. And when last week I realized you and Warren were… before Jean…?”

Scott winces, his chest tightening up and he is having trouble breathing, let alone talking. He starts to turn away again when Logan puts a hand on his cheek and clearly struggles to look through the quartz to reach his eyes. Scott thinks maybe he gets farther than anyone else has in a long time.

“That day, at Alkali Lake, you turned to me in your grief. Not to Chuck, not to your friends. You chose me.”

“…”

Logan gets a faraway look in his eyes, “Just like Marie did, a long time ago but…”

Scott swallows, the intent behind the analogy slowly becoming clear. Marie is probably the only person on the face of this planet that Logan really and truly loves and cares for. Scott looks away then, already knowing how the sentence is supposed to finish.

“But afterwards I pushed you away.”

Logan doesn’t react. Watches the younger man hold himself taut, practically vibrating with anxiety and… something indescribable. Like maybe months of bottled up pain. Or maybe it was the catharsis of months of bottled up pain. Waits for him to say something, anything. Then gives up and sighs, settles for playing with the grown-out curls of auburn hair at the back of Scott’s neck instead.

“I’ve been waiting for you to turn my way again, ever since.”

Scott stays silent as death.

A part of him wonders if this is an intricately planned prank, maybe Logan’s idea of payback for kicking his ass repeatedly in sims and making him run errands to stock up the kitchen before school term began. But a bigger part wants to believe, so bad. Wishes the clock would stop… just stop right here in this moment where everything feels so perfect, and so… not wrong.

But yet another part of him is ready to cave under his inherent fears and insecurities, making him want to protest that maybe it was too fast and too soon, and that maybe it wasn’t right and no he didn’t want Logan he didn’t deserve Logan no no no

“Cyke.”

“…”

“We don’t have to pretend anymore.”

We, not you. Scott exhales, tears threatening at the edge of his eyes and for once he’s actually glad for the cover of his glasses. Even if Wolverine actually did have a heart, didn’t mean he would let slip any opportunity to call him a nancy boy.

Scott looks out the window into the night that’s silent and numb and dark as always. He once lived in that night for two long years, until Charles gave him vision, and hope for a better future. Then came two lovers, first Warren and then Jean, who’d loved him enough to push the endless void of darkness away. When Jean died, he’d regressed… returned to take solace in the pitch black of denial and despair he once was so acutely familiar with. It felt safe, after all, no hopes and no expectations meant no betrayals and no disappointments right?

People deny the reality that’s too harsh to accept and choose to live in their dreams. But Scott’s been living in his nightmares. He knows he’s been hiding behind the truth… subsisting, barely functioning. And he knows it’s not what Charles needs from, or wants for him. It’s not what Jean would have wanted for him either, if she were here. But she’s not.

Jean is gone.

“Jean is gone.”

Logan starts. “Yes Scott. She’s gone.”

Somehow, right in this moment, the night didn’t feel so safe anymore.

Logan did.

Scott slowly turns towards the other man then, and it is like turning toward the light after a century of darkness.

“But we’re still here.”

Logan smiles. “Yes Scott. We’re still here.”


** END ** 

A/N: Pls let me know what you think? :)


*fans self*

And what is wrong with porn that is mushy and sentimental, I ask you? 'Cause I'm not seeing any *g* Lovely work, hon!

:D Thank you so much sweetheart! This is the most rushed fic I've ever written.. guess who absolutely hates missing deadlines? *rolls eyes & points at self*
I'm just glad it worked for you hon, cheers :)

Wow! You never cease to amaze! Love scenes were hot and the feeling conveyed between the two were moving. Another terrific story.

Thank you so much hon! *hugs* :)
Between RL and trying to get this out on time, I didnt get a chance to read the other posts for the ficathon yet. But you have posted yours haven't you? Expect a review soon! :D cheers again hon.

This drew me in and had me captivated right through to the end.
Good one!

Thank you so much!! I'm really pleased you liked it hon :)

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Re: You left me with...

Thanks so very much for reviewing sweetheart!! :) And LOL I can't explain your craving for cigarette, except maybe tell you that I smoked away maybe half a pack to get this thing done in time for the ficathon deadline? :D And missed it still *rolls eyes*
Yeah.. it's a bad habit, don't start. cheers again hon.

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Despite of the hotness swimming through this fic, I have to constantly reel myself back from drifting a little towards the implication of Scott and Warren's past.
That's what happened when you so cruelly put two of my fav slash pairings in one story.:D

LOL I knew you would definitely catch all the references to Warren/Scott! :) Just hope it worked well for you hon, because this pairing is fast becoming a favorite of mine as well. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing :)

mind reeling with the truths and the not-truths

Gawd, that was hot! And that line made me wonder what did happen with Warren...

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing darling :)

That line is referring to how Logan was right about Scott's being in denial, and his pretending a whole lot of things. But he wasn't right when he said Scott wanted to pretend that Logan was Warren. I didnt want to get into Scott and Warren's history too much because it was distracting from the main issue :) But suffice it to say, Scott got over him a long long time ago.

cheers again hon :)

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Re: What do I think?

Awww, thank you so much for your kind words! :) Guess I'm the happiest about the fact that you found this believable.. that really means a lot to me! cheers again hon *hugs* :)

Thing I love about your stuff is how real it all seems to me, how much I could ultimately picture it as part of the actual X Men universe....Really, I always love your stuff, and this is no different! Great job as always.

Thank you so much sweetheart! I'm really glad it turned out believable, was worried I'd overdone the sap once again.. which maybe I HAVE heh ;-) But if it works for you I'm happy enough! cheers again hon :)

This was really great! I loved how Logan had been coming in to watch Scott shower for a while and finally decided to stay. And it was just hott. Great writing!

Thank you so very much for your lovely feedback hon :) Yeah Logan's had a thing for Scott for like ever, but it was only after he realizes Scott is not strictly straight, that he decides to do something about it.
Glad you liked it hon! cheers :)

I've read this story probably more than ten times and every time i can find something new that I like. Absolutely amazing.

Thank you very much for the lovely review. More than ten times really? Wow.. I'm really glad you liked it hon. cheers :)

Good lord, cyn! You might be interested to know that when Scott steps out of the shower & turns around to see Logan there, watching him, I felt this hot blush slowly crawling down my face & neck. It's seldom I have such a visceral reaction, but ah...I can't help but see James Marsden & Hugh Jackmen in your fics, you know? *grins*

It was actually kind of funny to think of stoic Cyclops glaring at the Wolverine...whilst naked & hard. Logan's all "you just gonna ignore *that*?!* *laughs*


I'm trawling through your memories & finding some good recs I'd never seen before, so thanks for that, too.

Pesti

:D Thank you for reading hon! This one I wasn't very happy with. Wrote it in a massive rush to try to meet a ficathon deadline. Yeah those things never do me any good, I've got to stop signing up. But hey, glad to know it got you worked up though haha :P I loved your reaction so much!! :)

I can't help but see James Marsden & Hugh Jackman in your fics, you know? *grins*
Really? Oh wow.. that's some compliment sweetie :) Considering my writing is always customized for and around James Marsden :D He's such a honey!

I'm trawling through your memories & finding some good recs I'd never seen before, so thanks for that, too.
Hope you find something cool to curl up with! :)

Wow you have got some NICE imagery and feelings hidden away in all that super hotness!

I really loved Logan's stubble...omg his super sexy stubble....Grawl! amd him constantly sniffing...yum!

You got them down, way to go, especially...ahh everything! lol nvm

I'm sooo glad I decided to make my way to your journal...thanks for sharing!

Thank you so much Alisha :) I'm really glad you enjoyed the story and Logan's... stubble? :D Oh okay .. stubble it is ;) Haha.. kidding. He's constantly sniffing I know! :) Guess its just his feral mutation thing.
I'm really glad you came over too sweetheart :) Thanks for the lovely feedback! :)

Yeah, you can write. Thanks for this piece of emotions as well.

Thank you so much love. All your reviews are making my day so much better! :)

This was HOT LIKE FIRE and so perfect it made me smile. Bravo!

:D Glad you enjoyed the hotness hon. Thank you!!

:D Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it hon.

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