Jesse observed dispassionately as the handsome stranger flopped down beside him on the couch. Typical fixture this piece of furniture no matter which club you go… it’s like you’re expected to make out… third base no less or the night’s a washout. Jesse knew what Jack wanted and knew he should not be encouraging any more of his advances. But deep inside, he yearned for the solace of anonymous arms… no acknowledgment necessary. Because for once, none would be expected.
Ryan drew a deep breath as he leaned in closer, shoulders touching… warmth not at all unnerving. He began to chatter about mundane things, not that Jesse was listening. He soaked in the constant buzzing in his head and the surprising non-awkwardness of the moment. He wondered if Brennan was still with his buddies, drinking… laughing at him…
“I need a drink.”
“No you don’t.”
Skewered Ryan with a look that said ‘who the fuck do you think you are’ but was ignored. He tried to get up but was pulled back. The bigger man leaned in further and Jesse retreated, until he lost his balance again and lay flat on his back. Pinned down.
Jesse snickered uncomfortably.
“Sir if this is your idea of a quick seduction I gotta tell ya its not going so well.”
In response he only received an avid stare… the stranger looked him in the eye.
Jesse braced himself, remembering his shaking effort with Shal’s eyeliner… afraid. Soft fingertips lightly touching the crease lines by his eyes, making no attempt to rub off the stray swipe of blue there… Ryan thought it endearing really.
Jesse almost wept, but he didn’t believe. He needed to escape.
“I need a drink.”
“Are you *trying* to knock yourself out?”
“None of your goddamn business.”
Jack pulled Jesse up and closer so their lips touched. Almost.
“Give me a chance Jesse, whatever your demons… I won’t let them get you tonight. I promise.”
Jesse stilled, he so wanted to believe, give in. But his mind was warped with too many emotions and not enough sobriety to sort them out. Anger, resentment, sadness, humiliation… aching, longing, needing…
It was all too much and not enough. For once, Jesse wanted *not* to rationalize. He did not want to understand, did not want to take the higher ground damnit. For once he did not want to forgive and forget however much trouble and disappointment he might cause Adam and… the rest. He wanted to rave and scream and cry his heart out because it was all too much. And not enough.
Someone tugged at him, made him focus on the face before him… not Brennan’s. A stranger… would it hurt Brennan if he slept with this man? Would he care?
Jack smiled. “I promise.”
Jesse nodded mutely.
“You’re wet. Were you walking in the rain?”
He held Jesse up who for his part was enjoying that boneless feeling of not having to carry his own dead weight. The jacket was gently tugged off and Ryan paused to admire the silk shirt revealed. With the harshness of black leather gone, Jesse morphed back to this exquisite creature almost fragile to touch. He would have to be careful, Ryan mused. Jesse shivered not from the cold.
“It… It was a gift.”
“Its something else alright… he’s got taste, whoever gave this to you.”
Jesse closed his eyes against the memories.
~I can do this I can do this I can do this…~
You must understand though the touch of your hand
makes my pulse react…
Hands… smoothening creases down his chest, softly brushing nipples that soon became visible through the sheer fabric. Shirt teased out from velvet trousers, bare navel nuzzled into circles leaving him gasping for breath.
Palm molded round the curve of left buttock eliciting a moan. Legs were pushed slightly apart… inside of left thigh massaged with persistence… inching inwards. Movements stiffened as Jesse recovered enough to push the hand away and Ryan relented. Instead he gripped under the left knee, adept fingers playing Jesse’s senses like his favored cello from right there.
“You like this? Tell me you like this…”
Jesse sobbed silently, miserable at his helplessness… cursing his weakness. He wondered at the wanton image he must make… cradled between leather armrest and large encompassing arms of a strange man… man he knew nothing about except *probably* his name… man who was licking his way up from his already sensitized belly… exposing skin with every button undone. Head thrown back as he was usually wont to do when it all became too much. And not enough.
It's physical, only logical.
You must try to ignore,
that it means more than that…
Pleasure he did not want, pain he couldn’t bear… couldn’t stop Jack as more of his body was touched and stroked and forced to respond, which it did. This wasn’t what he wanted. This was exactly what he needed.
So many memories to kill… and *fuck* not enough to drink…
What’s love got to do, got to do with it?
What’s love but a second-hand emotion?
What’s love got to do, got to do with it?
Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken…
Jack shifted the bodies until Jesse lay back on the couch and Jack sat between his spread legs that rested on top of his own thighs. He bent down to hold the boy to himself close, shielding Jesse’s upper torso with his own as much as anatomically possible. Trembling hands occasionally tried to push him away, only to reconsider and pull him back in. He finally decided to stop the game and take control… straightened up and pushed unsure wrists over Jesse’s head. Grounded his hard self between Jesse’s legs that couldn’t be closed. Jesse writhed, in pleasure or agony… who knew.
It may seem to you, that I'm acting confused,
when you're close to me
If I tend to look dazed, I read it someplace
I've got cause to be…
Lust overrode Jesse’s senses as Jack kissed his way down from Jesse’s forehead to his jaw line to his neck. Nestled there for awhile until the writhing increased threefold and moved in for the kill. Warm mouth closed over Jesse’s giving him no time to reconsider this one. Reflexively the boy pulled back. But Jack was not in the mood for games anymore. Hands cradled face by the ears not letting Jesse escape.
Too fast. Too fast.
Wrists returning to struggle and yet not… he didn’t want this… this wasn’t Brennan… exactly… this wasn’t Brennan… do you want him to be Brennan? He wont hurt you… there is nothing he can hurt you with… he doesn’t know you, yet. Do you care? No you don’t… yes you do… this is not Brennan… you want Brennan… fuck… Brennan doesn’t want you…
His mouth was being devoured and he couldn’t deny the stirrings in his groin. But his mind was in turmoil… every instinct he owned screamed to run, every stubborn streak he’d grown tonight pushed him to stay on… the look on Brennan’s face when he got to know would be worth it… yes…
“Jack… Jack stop…”
Jack was lost in his whirlwind of passion and didn’t quite hear that. Jesse grimaced under Ryan’s lips… he so wanted to be just a regular guy tonight. He so didn’t wanna be reminded or be in need of his mutation but then again, nothing was going his way anyway. He closed his eyes and took the deep breath he needed just before…
Before a deep, hissing noise jarred him from his right.
“He told you to stop.”
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