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cyndrarae

Rebelling against Reality since 2003

v14.0


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JA: Jensen flustered in ChicagoCon
cyndrarae

Tip: Don't google yourself on a bad hair day

Guess most of us wish at some level that we could make everyone happy, that we could be 100% liked or at the very least 'not hated' by ALL our bosses and friends and lovers, readers... Well, news flash, something I realized pretty recently myself actually: There are much, much, MUCH better things to pursue in life than approval of people I don't care about or even know.

Ignore me, I'm just letting off steam after getting panned (not very constructively) for my sub-par writing skills by some anons who were feeling particularly bitchy and decided ruining someone else's day would make them feel so much better. Not contesting their rights to express an opinion, mind you, even though they are little chicken-shits who won't afford the people they're trashing the same rights. Why do they get to be anonymous and their so-called victims don't? Hell, I'mma express my opinion anyway, and know what I think? I think these anons are either bottom!Jensen fanatics (the most intolerant kinds, in which case I'm ecstatic to hear I annoy them so much hehe) or just insecure folks (most likely losers in real life) who need to pull others down (anonymously) in order to feel superior. I bloody know I'm not perfect, I don't need to be made to feel worse about it than I do as it is. But I also know some of my imperfect stories do bring a smile or two to a few readers' faces and it's what maybe, hopefully they will remember me for. You on the other hand, carry on with your anonymous hating of everything and everyone who has balls to put something of their own out there with their bloody NAME on it, but that's all you will ever be... ANONYMOUS and completely FORGETTABLE.

*exhales* That felt good.

Just a fair warning to you gentle folks tho.. I have still NOT stopped writing, and unfortunately I never will heh. Because there's one person I need to continue seeking approval from... myself. *shrugs* And it's not even such a hardship seeing how incredibly easy I am to please, really low standards and all heh. All I need is porn!!

Good thing I don't do this for a living, huh. *snorts, craving badly for a smoke*

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Awww I'm so sorry they have started on you!!!!!

I HATE THESE ANON COMS!!!!!!!!!

They are all cowards and I am so glad you are carrying on writing and not taking any notice of them. They are ruining our fandom and deserve to be ignored.

Big hugs
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Thank you sweetie :) I'm carrying on of course.. I've processed this (me and my Cancerian oversensitivity issues!!) and realized I always overreact to meanness. And by doing so I basically let the bullies win. *shrugs* That's your pear of wisdom for the day hehe..

Hope you're doing well sweetie :) How you manage to stay so cheery all the time I don't know but you go girl!! :) *hugs*

Gah, I hate faceless bashing so damn much. Sorry that you've had to deal with that, I really hope you don't take the comments you read on the anon meme too much to heart.

Anyone who makes comments and doesn't have the balls to put a name to their words shouldn't have any credibility - that's my opinion anyway. I think you're a very talented writer and I've enjoyed every one of your stories that I've read.

I've had my own serving of anon meme bitching when some faceless pleb was kind enough to comment that my flist only say nice things about my fics because they don't want to hurt my feelings. My response being 'meh, whatever.'

My response being 'meh, whatever.'

Dude that's exactly what I need to do! I hate myself for reacting to anon bitching the way I do and I wish I could change my whole bloody nature to become more thick-headed. But yeah I've had some time to think and am very near to 'meh whatever' myself hehe.

By the way I genuinely love your stories too sweetie. Fucking nonnie insulted your f-list too - what, does she think we're all stupid? Maybe she's frustrated because even her flist doesn't bother to comment to her fics hehe.. :D:D

*Punches the air* YOU GO GIRL!! I've heard so many people hurt by those stupid anon comms. At least when I get bitchy and critical everyone knows who to blame cause I sign my name.

I happen to like you and think you're a nice person.

I'm all for constructive critisim, I mean, sheesh if I do something that irks and I do it repeatedly, tell me. I'm a grown up, you don't need to hide behind anon.

I think you're right about them being intolerant bottom!Jensen fans.

And I keep saying this...for pete's sake don't go read that anon comm crap.

I think you're right about them being intolerant bottom!Jensen fans.

Yeah I got that sense pretty much right off the bat. Such arrogance... you know this is also racism of a sort.. hating everyone who happens to be different or likes different things. God I'm getting worked up again! *takes deep breaths*

Thanks for such a lovely comment sweetie. As always, very grateful for all the pep talk. I happen to keep needing it often heh *winces*

Screw them, honey. I like your writing just fine...especially when it's about Scott/Logan. *grin*

Thank you sweetheart :) I needed to hear that. *hugs*

I know I've said it before but I just don't understand the satisfaction anyone can get out of berating and belittling others whether they remain anon or not.

You made me snort my herbal tea with your bottom!Jensen comment. LOL

I love your stories, non of which I see as imperfect, and they always bring a smile to my face. I'm glad their stupid comments won't stop you from writing. I for one can't wait for your Big Bang. As for having low standards and only needing the porn, welcome to my world. :) x

*hugs you tight* Don't ever leave me you!!!!!! :) I've had some time to process it and you know what - fuck it. Fuck em all to hell. I'm happy with my small circle of friends who look for the same things in fanfic that I do and together we can enjoy it! So yeah, PLEASE DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT EVER LEAVING ME!!!!! :D

Okay I'm done now :D:D Hope you're well sweetie.

Your stories take me away from my world for a bit, and I need that. If I haven't said thank you enough, I apologize. THANK YOU X'S A BILLION. Now, let's track down these cowardly, nameless mockers and torture Jared right in front of them!

Thank YOU sweetie :) I'm glad there is a section of fandom that doesn't think I suck hehe. Okay kidding, I'm totally over my little temper tantrum I swear! :) And already on my way to torture Jared some more in my next fic hehe.. cheers hon.

:( Oh, darling, fuck them royally.

And I would imagine they are just disgruntled bottom!Jensen fanatics. Well, either that or overly-simplistic douchebags who think that if a story isn't completely formulaic, down to the "they get together, have one last misunderstanding before everything smoothes over and they ride off into the sunset together" then it's no good.

<3 I hope you know better than to take those dickweeds seriously. (Believe me, I know exactly how hard it is to take that advice, but I still dish it out to other people because damn it, woman, you write beautifully, and idiots like that should rethink their lives if they seriously get a kick out of insulting people anonymously online.)

You have a knack of articulating my thoughts so so much better than me sweetie. That's why I adore you so much! :) *smishes*

I am not perfect but I'm not going to stop trying to get there. Yep. That's my last and final stand on the damn nonnie situation.

Thanks (again and again and again) sweetie *hugs*

Pfft. Know that I'll certainly look forward to all your fics. Mainly for the porn rly, srsly, it's smokin! Ha, if a dumb anon ever said that to me, I'd be all "So? I wrote this mainly for myself, for the world always needs more demon/badass/etc Dean and Sam!"

for the world always needs more demon/badass/etc Dean and Sam!

ABSO-fucking-LUTELY!!! And that's my whole and sole purpose of existence at this point especially since those anons picked on me for it :D:D

Thanks for commenting sweetie :) I needed a little dose of reality check heh. *hugs*

One thing I strongly dislike about the internet is that it gives the sort of people who would never dare approach you in real life the power to say the meanest things they can to you anonymously. They're often the most miserable people in RL, like you could totally pick them out of a crowd without knowing them. The internet, for better or worse, has become the great equalizer, allowing everyone to say whatever wonderful and hurtful things they like without consequence. I wish sometimes I could meet these people and ask them to say these things to my face. 99% of them wouldn't have the balls to because even they know they're being mean.

Screw 'em.

I sometimes wonder if it isn't our own fault - exposing ourselves to this swarm of insecure people using the internet to get an ego-kick. But I guess there is more than enough reason to stick around too, if you find even a few like-minded individuals.

I've faced some racist flak in real life for my Indian origins but that's targeting something out of my control and I can handle that. But this one stings because I love writing so much and I want to be good and I try to be. Anyway... you're right. Screw 'em.

Thanks sweetie *hugs*

Putting yourself out there by posting fic is hard, and a brave thing to do.

I've seen a few posts on my friends page defending the anon meme, saying that some people couldn't express their opinions if it wasn't anonymous.

I call bullshit on that. Anyone with even an ounce of self esteem will stand by their opinions, even if it's with a semi-anonymous LJ name. What are they afraid is going to happen, that you'll show up at their door with a Glock and kill one of their many cats in retaliation?

Thank you for sharing your experience with this. I think it shows that self expression is worth it, even if you take some knocks every once in a while. If someone is that affected by your fic that they have to state an anonymous opinion without being willing in turn to take the hard knocks themselves, then they are, as you said, just pulling others down to make themselves feel superior.

It's sad really, but even if I strain really hard I can't grunt together enough effort to give a shit. There are too many cool people in the world to waste time on the losers.

Write your fic and enjoy yourself. You GO woman!

Just as an author is brave for putting fic up, so is someone for standing by their opinion. Ya know what? Not everyone has the balls to do that. ]

I honestly don't see why people think saying things anonymously is cowardly. Has no one ever shared their honest opinion with a friend (or maybe more than one), safe in the knowledge that that information would not be connected to them? That it was being said in the company of people who would also give their honest opinion? In my experience, when that happens, it's much like the anon meme: a few, or more, depending on the subject, shouts of dislike or outright hate, and parallel to that, honest discussion on why or why not or what, because it's an environment you feel safe in because you believe what is said in that room with those people won't be connected to you. The difference being that the anon meme is open to the public.

In regards to what someone might fear - the people on the anon meme have LJ accounts, and probably have friends here, and a reputation, et cetera. It's a mirror of real life. Those friendships and connections made are important to people, just as a friendship with someone you know IRL is. Standing by your opinion in real life would have the same (er, well, similar) consequences as standing by your opinion online.

Your sub-par writing skills? Sub-par compared to what? I'm with Cam on this one (and with you, too, btw). You're an amazing writer - it's one thing to say that you don't share a writer's tastes/preferences/perspective, and another to sling crap at them like a monkey at the zoo just because you can. Hmmm. Never did much care for monkeys, anyway (although I'm sure they don't like me, either!). I'm glad you're going to keep writing - living well is always the best revenge. :)

PS: And I'm kind of digging your hair, too. :)

*hugs tight* Thank you sweetie. I was just... you know, overreacting as always heh. But I'm done now and in no mood to ever ever visit any anon websites ever again.

Digging my hair? :) How's that? Is this some pop reference from across the pond I'm not understanding? ;)

Edited at 2010-06-23 06:22 pm (UTC)

(Deleted comment)
I love you Vincent, you know that right? If you were straight or I were a guy (cause I know I'd be gay for sure hehe)... :D:D

There is more hate in people than anything else, that's just the sad fact of life and I have to learn to deal with it. Sometimes I forget you know.. sometimes I let my Cancerian oversensitive side take over and destroy every bit of self-esteem I've garnered over the years writing. *sighs*

Anyway, I'm past this. Thanks again for being here sweetie. I just saw your message and your email about the bigbang! Will reply to you in a bit :) Love you sweetheart *Hugs and kisses*


I hate anonymous for that reason. If you can't say it in person then don't say it at all.

Exactly right? I got issues too and they don't see me venting it out on anyone else hiding behind an anon tag! Some people just suck.

Hope you're feeling better sweetie.

Mean-spirited people are just that - mean. I know I myself have over the years read fics and whatnot that weren't up to par; poor spelling, grammar, bad characterisation, incorrect punctuation etc. But I wouldn't dream of leaving a poor review/comment. Sometimes a fic can still have charm despite its faults and just because it may not be the best thing I've ever read, doesn't mean I haven't enjoyed it. If I really don't like something - I don't read it - and I certainly don't leave nasty messages. So, in conclusion, horrible people being horrible to others are to be sneered at and forgotten. They aren't worth your time.
*Huggles you*

*Hugs back* Thanks sweetie. I wish I were thick-headed naturally but I'm not and have to work hard to get there. But yeah I think I am now. Fuck those idiots who don't have the balls to tell me on my face what they don't like about my writing. At least that way I might even learn something from them!

Ignore the anons, dear. If they are too cowardly to stand behind their comments with their name, then they are not worth paying any attention to. These are people who have such low self esteem that they have to diss someone else in order to feel good about themselves. And 90% of them don't even write fic - they just read others and act all judgmental. Forget them. We who know you and your fic love you both. You are one of the writers that brought me into writing fanfic, so take that as a compliment. :)

And 90% of them don't even write fic - they just read others and act all judgmental

My thoughts exactly!! If they were writers themselves, could they really be this insensitive to other writers no matter how good they think they are? Wait, don't answer that, I don't wanna know *facepalm*

You are one of the writers that brought me into writing fanfic, so take that as a compliment. :)

Wow I didn't know that and thanks hon, that is so awesome!! :) Doesn't that mean you should write me a new Dean spanks Sammy fic? ;) Kidding... well, kinda :D:D:D

cheers hon! *hugs*

First off, as to this comment:

'Hell, I'mma express my opinion anyway, and know what I think? I think these anons are either bottom!Jensen fanatics (the most intolerant kinds, in which case I'm ecstatic to hear I annoy them so much hehe) or just insecure folks (most likely losers in real life) who need to pull others down (anonymously) in order to feel superior.'

Yahtzee! I believe you've got a handle on it.

My next comment--if you've been targeted then I think that actually means you have talent. You know I think you've got talent in spades but the writers I've seen targeted are ones I enjoy reading; I have to believe that I have good taste therefore they're targeting good bottom!Jared writers.

That's my two cents. Please do everyone a favor and ignore the anons ;-)

I have to believe that I have good taste therefore they're targeting good bottom!Jared writers.

Yayyy :D I was hoping it'd be that and several people have confirmed it so that changes things. Now I'm kinda happy to be targeted hehe. Well, still sucks a little, but only a little. And yes I do intend to stay away from the bloody nonnies now and forever!! So not worth it.

How are you doing sweetie? I hope my beta work is not giving you too hard a time? :) *hugs*

I have never read these anon comment things but I have known the negativity that seems come out of it when it's happening somewhere in the fandom because I've heard about people being affected by it on their posts. I'm just sorry that this time, that someone had to be you :(.

You know you put a smile on my face with your fics (and PORN) and I wouldn't have your writing any other way :).

I need to continue seeking approval from... myself.
Right there is a slice of wisdom that we all could learn from :)


Hey you!!! Good call on not reading any anon hate hon. It ruins your day and makes you doubt yourself which.. nobody deserves.

Slice of wisdom yeah hehe :D You're a writer, you know how sometimes you write stuff and read it back and you even surprise yourself? :D:D This is that hehe :)

Thanks for dropping by sweetie *hugs* You haven't posted in a while, everything okay in RL i hope?

Oh you little dork!!! :D *smishes* I love you too sweetie, don't know what I'd do without your silliness lighting up my LJ here :)

'Sub-par' writing skills? You? Seriously? What a joke!! You are an excellent writer!! I don't know whether you remember my comment about your Scott/Logan fic, that I'd been come everyday just to check if you've updated. I've gotten busy with work and life in general, so I am not able to read your other fics like I used to, but I do come, every single day!!

Let those fools rant about your work all they want but you are an amazing writer!! Don't let them get you!!

I am a little loss cause I have no clue what an ANON COMS!!!!!!!!!...but whoever it was that was messing with you needs an ass beating... You are an amazing writer, you bring your characthers to life in ways very few writers can. I have so far enjoyed every J2 story you have written and truly believe that they way you captivate them in your writing is unique to you. I cant wait for your Big Bang Story.... so there...

Okay someone please help the slow person here that does not know what an ANON COMS!!!!!!!!! is...pretty please :P

Heh.. thank you sweetie :) I've come to terms with the fact that there will always be people who don't like what I write which I'm perfectly okay with. And I'm also trying to just accept the fact that some of those people will be mean-spirited enough to bitch about it behind my back, which is what the anon comms are for. They're basically communities which allow anonymous posts and comments so people can say whatever crap they want to about anyone without having to face any consequences.

I guess if you search for spnpermanon if you really want to see what its like but hon I would recommend you stay away from those places. Bitterness begets bitterness and all that.

*hugs*

I feel EXACTLY teh same about anon posting when bashing! Actually I've discovered a thread about a Big Bang fic I'm beta'ring and doing the art for, and an anon thread has been rest up with people bashing it! It hasn't even be posted and people are mocking. Why??

Interesting if they are fanatical bottom!Jen fans (I've noticed that too!) personally I'm a complete bottom!Jared/Sam girl, if I see bottom!Jen/Dean I know it's not my thing, and hit the back button, no bitching needed, it's so pathetic it's just sad. Maybe there really insecure fanatics? Who knows!

I realyl hate that people are so cowardly and stupid. You don't like the sound of something, that's your call, but you hit the back button. I would never bash someone - whether signed in or anon, but if are petty enough, as you said, have the balls to sign in.

I don't get why people set up these anon threads to bash things/people, it's really ugly that people get a kick out of doing those things, and those are the types of people who bang on about freedom of speach blah blah, and also they probably get a thrill out of being bitchy and being anon, I just wish someone would do it to everyone one of them and for them to feel like crap about it, because it's a horrible thing to do.

I'm so glad you're not gonna quit writting! *does happy dance* you're right abotu seeking approval from yourself, it's a good reason to keep writing, because we're our ultimate critic, not some stupid anon troll who can't spell and has less brain cells than an ant.

*hugs*

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