JM: Young tilted head closeup

cyndrarae

Rebelling against Reality since 2003

v14.0


Previous Entry Share Next Entry
JM: Young tilted head closeup
cyndrarae

Bigbang jitters and other stuff

1. SO I'm supposed to be posting a bigbang fic this summer. Unfortunately I'm like one of the last people to post - 28th July. Which is sad for 2 reasons - one, I have to wait that long to get it out of my system and move on to something new and two, I have to read all these other people posting such fantastic epics that are so bloody unbelievably good!! Every new fic posted is only making me more nervous and jealous and.. awww man. *facepalm* Now if I can just find a good excuse to withdraw. Nah I'm just kidding ;) Be sure I shall be posting with pride. *nods serenely*
Then go into hiding for ever hehe.

2. To my friends from raingazer... I'm not going to be posting on that journal anymore. Or at least, for now, depends on how certain things go in RL *shrugs*. I'm sorry for being so cryptic, please just give me some time to sort myself out. But don't you dare disappear on me you guys. *glares* Please? :)

cheers guys.

  • 1
I'm not disappearing, and you know where to find me. Big hugs to you, sweetheart. Be as cryptic as you like and take as much time as you need, only you better not disappear either or I'll hunt you down. :P

Take care of yourself, and don't you dare be self-conscious about your Bigbang fic. It's loads better than the ones I've read so far (or more often, started and not finished in disgust. :P)

You're wonderful. :)

OMG your icon! LMAO!! So cute!! :)

You're just too good to me sweetie.. I don't know what I'd do without you *hugs*

It's loads better than the ones I've read so far (or more often, started and not finished in disgust. :P)

Awww hon. I read a few that are pretty good. Did you read the Seahorse? It's awesome if you're okay with mpreg. *dies of the goodness galore* Have just started Ouroboros and its awesome so far. The fic by lostt1 is a good read too.

::shuffles feet:: I haven't read Seahorse. I would have but for the mpreg...jury's still out on that, doubtless due to my early involvement in the HP fandom. :P And Ouroboros just looked so long. I enjoyed the couple I read, but not nearly as much as I enjoyed reading yours. Totally honestly. Oh, except there was one--Jared's working at a movie theater? It was insanely cute and schmoopy, but I still preferred yours. (This one was disappointingly low-sex). :P

Yeah, so I'm whiny and picky. :P But trust me, you do NOT need to feel jealous.

But trust me, you do NOT need to feel jealous.
:D Okay I'll stop whining now lol *smishes*

You know you're the third person reccing that movie theater fic to me, think I'll start that one today. HP fandom is swarming with mpreg fics! :) What happened to make you so squirmish around them honey? But if you're able to get past it somehow, you have to read the Seahorse. Promise you will not regret it :)

Ohhh, do, the movie theater one is short! So it's all good! (I have developed an irrational fear of time commitments.)

Well, I think I just got involved in the HP fandom too young, believe it or not! :P I was nine or ten when I started reading the books and it was only a couple of years later that I got involved over at fictionalley.org with my best friend and, well... you know, I met all these lovely people, some of whom happened to write Harry/Draco, one of whom wrote quite an involved and rather upsetting mpreg fic that has forever tainted the genre for me. :P I mean, you're 12 or 13 and reading that shit? Noooo! It's scary! ::sigh:: There was also quite a disgusting BDSM het scene that marred me early on. Which is why now I'm so picky about what I read, even if I love the author to death. :P But hey, I may start Seahorse here in a minute, on your recommendation. So if it gives me nightmares I'm going to send you bottom!Dean as vengeance. :P

So if it gives me nightmares I'm going to send you bottom!Dean as vengeance. :P

LMAO! Ah the surefire way to freak me out *shudders* ;) Sweetheart try it.. I promise you will not regret it :D


I can't wait for your Big bang...I'm safe in the knowledge it's bottom!Jared!!!! (hugs)

Of course it will darling, that's one area I will never disappoint you in :D *hugs*

Jitters are allowed but completely unnecessary. I'm really looking forward to reading your story!

Thanks sweetie :) I know everyone writes and reads different things and it's just a matter of taste but really, some authors out there are scarily talented. Hence the jitters heh.

Hey, I was wondering how you were doing, especially since you made that one post about the past biting you in the butt. Hang in there, and you can always e-mail me, okay? *sends hugs* :)

Mostly I'm doing okay, distracting myself with porn helps heh. Well, there's some trouble in paradise but.. *sighs*.. I hope its temporary, I don't know. I don't really feel like talking about it yet. But thank you so much for checking up on me sweetheart, it means a lot to me really *clings*

Don't worry dude! It doesn't matter that it's the end of July! Actually, I think it's better cause there'll be no more exams and stuff then.

Heh, thanks hon. And that's right, you're having your exams. How're they going sweetie? Best of luck!! Obviously you're not staying away from fandom like you wanted to haha ;)

No, not exactly... *blushes* I'm just trying not to read any fics and not spent too much time on line.

Thank you very much bb! I'm doing my best but things are kinda shitty so far. Your Big Bang gives me smtg to look forward too though. (even though it'll probably have bottom!Jared :p)

Things will get better, don't lose hope. Or your focus. Boy am I glad my exam days are over ;P

And I'm sorry sweetie, it will definitely be bottom!Jared :(

I hope so! You're soo lucky!!

Don't worry, I don't mind your bottom!Jared. :)

I am sooooooo excited, I didn't know that you had a BigBang story coming up because we must have friended each other after you made your initial announcement about that.

Yaaaaaaaaaay!!!! I for one am very much looking forward to your BigBang story. It is easier to say than do, but please don't be apprehensive about it. There are a wide variety of stories for BigBang by tons of really talented people, like yourself.

I personally don't judge things like this was better than that one. I like to let every single work of fic, OK, you got me, *porn* wash over me and enjoy each fic based on it's own merits. I totally dig that in fan fiction there is such a wide variety of things to read and experience vicariously through the characterizations drawn by the authors.

So, all I am telling you, is ..... Chill out. It's all good.

:D I'm excited that You're excited!! *hugs* cheers hon :)

You're right.. I really shouldn't be comparing one against another, or even myself - but that's sort of easier said than done. I'm sort of insecure about my writing (and perhaps with good reason), and reading some of the other authors around doesn't help at all hehe ;)

Anyway, enough whining :D Chilling out starting right now! Umm.. okay maybe in a couple of minutes then *grins sheepishly and runs away*

Is this your first BigBang? Do you write for lots of challenges? Because I totally get that it could make you nervous. I had someone on my flist try to get me to sign up for some challenges or prompt fics, but I still feel too new to the writing game to entertain that idea.

I think it is really exciting that you are participating and maybe next year I'll have enough confidence to try something so bold.

It is gonna be great. First of all, if it features In!Charge!Dean, how can you go wrong? :)

This is my first bigbang yes and I have participated in a couple fic challenges before this but nothing of this size - both in terms of the fic length as well as the number of people participating heh. I figured it was the only way I would get this J2RPS AU written down that I had been toying in my head with for awhile but never really found the motivation to put down in words. So really, as far as what I personally wanted out of this challenge, I've already achieved. So yay me, I guess hehe :)

Aww it doesn't have in!charge!Dean. But it does have a bossy!Jensen if that works? ;P

Aww it doesn't have in!charge!Dean. But it does have a bossy!Jensen if that works? ;P

Well, let's see.......Hell, yes it works! HeeHee

(Deleted comment)
I love you Vincent! I don't have enough words to tell you how much I love you and need you in my life. *hugs* You know the only time I'm okay these days is when I immerse myself completely in fics and fantasy stuff. The moment I resurface and remember my reality, I start feeling sad again.

I'm so sorry I have you worried hon. Will write you an email after this explaining my stupid behavior. Hope you don't hate me after reading it. *clings*

(Deleted comment)
:) I love you too sweetie. Thank you so so much *hugs you tight*

Babe, I can't wait to see you post :)

Hehe.. let's see how it goes, I'm freaking out but I guess it's just a story to suit a certain kind of audience's needs, I really shouldn't expect any more or even any less from it heh.

That's a very level-headed approach to it...is it helping the jitters any? ;)

I can't wait to read your story!

:D Thanks so much Tori *hugs*

You could refrain from reading the other entries until after yours goes up, which has the added attraction of getting a huge fest of fics to munch through all at once, or you could just have faith in your own writing and know we'll read and love it no matter what.

Refrain? NO WAY! :) There's a whole treasure trove of fics out there sweetheart.. I'm not that OCD about my writing either heh ;P Besides I kind of need the distractions they provide right now.

And faith in my writing is probably a good idea but you know me heh.. guess I'll try, yes ma'm I will ;)

*hugs*

(Deleted comment)
You're way too sweet to me darling. Obviously I made this post to find some reassurance in my friends and thank you so much for giving it to me!! *smishes* :)

I hope nothing too awful has happened sweetie and that RL gets its act together for you, i'm a bot worried about your message.

It's all a big mess right now but hopefully things will work out soon. I've realized how I can completely immerse myself in fandom stuff and block all the RL stuff out, which is what I'm doing *headdesk* I know I can't keep it up forever but.. let's see. Denial is a bloody good medicine I say.. heh.

*hugs back* cheers hon. And do send me the rest of your fic soon as your write it! :) I'm dying to know what happens next!

1) I have to get to those big bangs! I haven't started reading any of them yet *looks sheepish*. And I can totally understand you're feeling apprehensive about sharing your Big Bang where there are so many great writers out there (I feel it everytime I read someone's work and think "should I evern post my atrocious writing!") but you're a awesome writer and I'm pretty certain your Big Bang is going to be fantastic :D. And now I know the date you're posting, I'll mark it on my diary ;)

2) Whatever that you're going through, I hope you get through it and I'll still be around waiting for your return as raingazer :) *smishes you*

I'm sorry! I read your reply to the person above me and you said about how you can escape from reality when you immerse yourself in the fandom? I can relate cause I've been doing that often these days. I'm running/hiding from reality and I know I need to face them but being very reluctant and unwilling to do so. Let's hope that we both can get ourselves back on track :) *hugs*

I'm running/hiding from reality and I know I need to face them but being very reluctant and unwilling to do so. Let's hope that we both can get ourselves back on track

I hope so too hon. I can't go through life like this too long. Something's gotta give, let's see. You take care sweetie, got a lot going for you *hugs* :)

I can't go through life like this too long
I really do hope that you get through this sweetie, the comment above made me really worried about whatever you are going through :(. I know there are many people who love and care about you so remember that :) *hugz*

I feel it everytime I read someone's work and think "should I evern post my atrocious writing!"

You're kidding me right? Sweetheart your stories are always engaging and generously detailed and simply beautiful. Never let anyone tell you different *hugs*

Whatever that you're going through, I hope you get through it and I'll still be around waiting for your return as raingazer :)

Thank you sweetheart. You guys are way too awesome to me *hugs*

You're kidding me right? Sweetheart your stories are always engaging and generously detailed and simply beautiful. Never let anyone tell you different *hugs*
Sorry sweetie, I have a tendency to talk down my stories and i don't even realise that I'm doing it. A fanofsuper said that to me today and it hit me! I know, I'm slow *looks sheepish* I'll do my best to be more confident about them :). And thank you for the vote of confidence :D *hugs*

Please take care of yourself sweetie! *squishes you*

no need to worry, hun.
your fic's gonna be as gorgeous as everything you write is. I love you, and I can't wait to read it!!

*sends all her love*

Thanks sweetie (hugs)

Oh btw.. I downloaded all the sunrise avenue songs you named and even started writing a fic based on "fairytale gone bad". But I can't seem to come up with a happy ending. Maybe its just my own state of mind right now.. but am still working on it. Thanks for the prompts hon. I love this band! :)

no, that's just because there is no possibility for an happy ending for that song. it just went bad, that's it. you can just hope that in the future they'll be able to recollect the pieces. maybe inspired by 'romeo'.

I'm so glad you like them! they amaze me. *_*

haha.. I wish I could decide what decides to inspire me. Honestly have no control on my muses whatsoever. Good thing I didn't try to become a professional writer, I'd totally suck heh :P

I have so many ideas and inspirations every day that if I was a professional writer I'd probably never sleep at all U_U

the problem is, that I'm probably the onyl one that would like those ideas XD

you just write whatever you want, and it's amazing. so, I'll bow to your talent and wait for the next piece *_*

Hey sweetie.. posted the fic :)

  • 1
?

Log in