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cyndrarae

Rebelling against Reality since 2003

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Avngr: Angst!Loki from Thor
cyndrarae

Right, with that out of the way...

SO with my adventures in San Francisco drawn to a close, another bullet added to my growing list of life-altering mistakes, I move on to greener pastures aka Washington DC.. professionally speaking, and return to older pastures aka fandom - personally speaking. I love DC... by far the most global, transient and cosmopolitan city I've known after London. Sure I can think of a thousand other places I'd rather be, like Venice, or Goa, or Hogwarts, but this will do for now. 

Things I hope to get back to while I'm here...

1. Not dating. I am renouncing relationships period, embracing the sisterhood of eternal singleness and sparing myself the heart ache. Why have we done this to ourselves, created a superfluous cultural standard, forced everyone to live up to it, then make them feel like there's something wrong with them if they cannot? That's it. I'm done subscribing to this ridiculousness. Men suck. And not in a good way.
2. Writing. I'm like that horrible ungrateful 2am friend that calls only when I'm in need, of writing, and then forget all about it when everything's hunky dory out there in the real world. I'm despicable I know. Let's see if I can change that. Let's see if I can make men suck in a good way for a change, hehe. *headdesk* The problem is I'm getting a little sick of trying to Americanize my obviously not American English (at least in my head I can sense the difference very strongly), and maybe I just need to find genres and situations that allow me to write the way I want. Writing about American 30 somethings brought up in Texas and living in California is definitely not the right situation, for instance.  
3. X-Men. It's always been my go-to comfort!fandom - at least that's one thing I've stayed true to. Hunters and Special Agents and Avengers will come and go, but my OTP is and always will be Logan/Scott. And I know there are hardly any takers left but that doesn't matter anymore.
4. Reading. I haven't kept up with any reading whatsoever - not books, not fanfiction, nothing. Tumblr is partly to blame - changed all my guilty pleasures from literal to visual. But no more. I'm getting back to the things that I used to do, things that made me happy and appreciate my own company before I tried morphing myself into a bloody Stepford Wife.
5. Friends! Anyone still around? I won't be surprised if not. LJ's been kinda slow right, and its natural for folks to get on with their respective lives. But if you're still here I'd love to catch up.

New obsessions...

1. Loki - Anyone else on the Avengers bandwagon yet? I'm starting to fixate on Loki - you know me, its always the tortured younger brother that gets me heh. 
2. Teen Wolf - this seems to me like the only good thing on TV these days. The writing isn't as tight as TVD but I love all the characters and the music. What say you?
3. Robin Hobb - someone had a 'yard sale' (is that what it's called when a tenant moves out out an apartment?) and I bought a dozen paperbacks for like 2 dollars - I'm starting to really like this sci-fi/fantasy genre. 

Okay that's enough ranting for today. Hope everyone's doing well and having the best time of their lives, with more yet to come! :)

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Just a quick hi *waves like a lunatic!*

I'm still here, but not feeling up to saying much - my fingers are hurting too much to type (stupid arthritis) and my head is hurting too much to think - been reading hurt!Sam & hurt!Jared all day, lol!

Been thinking about you, so I'm glad you've posted, hopefully next time I'll be a little more responsive. *Hugs* xx

P.s You nearly killed me with your Men suck. And not in a good way. sentence - I choked on my paracetamol!!! :)

Hi sweetheart!!! So nice to hear from you again! :) I'm so sorry the arthritis is acting up sweetie, hope you feel better soon. Any interesting new hurt!Sam or hurt!Jared fics you care to share? Only write back when you can.. its not urgent, I mean it. I actually signed up (impulsively) to a Dark Angel bb and I really should be writing that one right now heh.
And so sorry about the choke! :D:D See this is what men do - they just... ugh let's not start that today. That's a conversation for another time maybe kay? :)
Do stay in touch sweetie, your posts always make me smile *hugs you gently* :)

*waves*
Hey Hun, welcome home - hugs!

Washington DC? Sounds cool, and interesting, and maybe motivation for the wee Muse to wake-up and write the roses; if that's your desire.

Lovely to see you here, ;)

Hey you!!! Welcome home sounds so right :) Thank you sweetie. *hugs* Yep DC is a nice city to live in, at least for awhile. And I've always gotten some writing done here hehe.. so here's hoping!

How are you doing hon? What's new with you?

good luck in D.C.
i agree with the men and relationship comment.
write the way you want, if someone has a problem with tell them to get lost, lol.
not doing another fandom lol. i just did a comm cut and got rid of about 180 of them.
i find when i read i escape from reality, which lately i need to do a lot.
had a few shitty months but i'm trying to change that around.

Thank you!

write the way you want, if someone has a problem with tell them to get lost, lol.
Haha, I love that! And yes, that's good advice. I don't mean to say one shouldn't beta, but trying to appeal to a mass of readers who get twitchy about the appropriate use of American slang words just irks the hell out of me. Oh well..

And how are you sweetie? Fanfiction and reading in general has always been an escape for me too. The more screwed up my RL, the more I need to escape. So yeah, I completely get you hon. But hang in there, looks like you're already on your way to turning things around!

*hugs*

Hey Cyndra! Good to hear from you. I happen to be in love with Teen Wolf too! Hooray! Wanna good recomendation? Well if you like Derek/Stiles slash that is. :) And I might have written a fanfic for it myself, but with no slashy goodness and only two little swats. :)

I wish you tons of luck with your list of things to get back to. I of course would like to encourage you to do some writing! :)


Hey Jen!!! How are you doing? It's been such a long time.

Good to see you're still working on growing that wonderful website of yours - I'm going to raid it tonight after work! Yeah Derek/Stiles is definitely hot :) But I've always fixated on the bad boys for some reason and Jackson seems to be it for me hehe.. he could use a spanking, or thirty, don't you think? ;p

And yeah I will definitely try to get back to writing soon. cheers hon! :) *hugs*

I'm good. :) I really enjoy Jackson as well. My favorite line from him so far is 'And just so we're clear... I'm everyone's type.' LOL!! He is very attractive too. His face often reminds me of a young Jensen. And he could certainly use a spanking or thirty. :)

I've missed you!! :) And I think you should write what makes you happy and inspired, because anything you write is a treat. Seriously! And I'm hoping to post an Avengers (movie) fic next week, but it's a new fandom so who knows how that will go, but yes, totally Avengers crazy here. Because, yeah, I so needed another obsession/distraction. :)

PS: Men can be highly overrated. And I love my husband, and I still say that; shame on me. ;)

Hey you! I've missed you too!! *smishes* How have you been? How is the family doing?

You're one of the lucky ones, I know you love your husband and you should have absolutely no need to agree with me. I'm one of the unfortunate ones hehe..

Avengers really? Please tell me you'll post a Loki spanking fic please pretty please?!?! :) I am so obsessed with that guy right now it's not funny. Eve if its not Loki I will definitely be reading what you're posting. Good to know we share another fandom yayy :D

Hi! I'm fine, just busy - the girls seem to take up 99% of my time and energy these days, which can be hard. And I know I don't *need* to agree with you, lol, but I often do. I used to think they made you take vows because it was romantic and all? *rolls eyes* As it turns out, it's because you're going to want to strangle the other person half the time. At least in my case, lol. But I think making yourself happy is definitely the way to go, single or not. It's faster and you know what you like! :)

You're hardly unfortunate - you're a fabulous person and deserve someone equally fabulous; hold out for the good stuff. ;)

I'm so sorry; it's Steve and Clint? Not that I don't think Loki is totally deserving, but the muse just happened to swing this way? And she hasn't been around in so long that I thought I should just shut up and write, lol. But yay for new shared fandoms! And I just knew when I saw your mention of Teen Wolf that Jet was going to be super-excited; I still need to see that. :)

Looking forward to anything you write next (promise!!)! *hugs*

Thank you so much sweetie. Sometime I feel like there was supposed to be just the one fabulous person for me. And I had my time with him all those years ago and.. now I'm done. Now I don't a second fabulous person period. God knows I've looked, I've been all over the world looking. Ack damn, look at me rambling away so pathetically hehe.

Steve and Clint is awesome!! :) I'm totally reading it. And in the meantime maybe I'll keep nudging you in the direction of some Thor/Loki too hehe ;P

*hugs*

Teen Wolf is pretty cool. I'm not sure if it's the only good thing (Victor Webster is back in sci-fi), but it is pretty awesome.

Hi you! How're you doing?

Victor Webster huh? Thanks for the rec - I will definitely look it up :)

Hope things are going well with you hon.

(Deleted comment)
Hi sweetheart!! *hugs you tight* I know we just spoke like last week and I told you everything was fine in San Francisco.. but.. you know how it is. Things changed just all of a sudden, even if trouble had sort of been brewing for a month before that.

But also i admire you because you follow your heart,you take risk, and yeah sadly you gets hurt in the process.Don't give up.You are totally my hero.

Aw hell, you just made me cry sweetie, and I probably needed to anyway so thanks! I'm not taking any risks for some time to come though. My quota for heartbreak is done, at least for now heh.

Sterek is like the biggest pairing in the Teen Wolf fandom! I'm going to have to check this out :) Mostly I've just been obsessing over Stiles/Scott and how bratty and spankable Jackson is hehe.

And OMG Avengers and Thor/Loki! :) We have to totally compare notes over this one. This is going to be one of my longer and more permanent obsessions hehe :)

So good to hear from you sweetie. You've always been such a great friend to me, I don't know what I'd do without you online! *hugs*

Oh and by the way I just followed you on Tumblr :) Don't freak out to see all Lokis and Tom Hiddlestons on my page hehe... that's just what I'm currently totally obsessed with!!

*huggles*

Still here sweets!

Nice to see you back :)

Always love to read yours!


Hello hello!! Nice to be back hehe :) How are you doing?

I'm doing good :)

Just writing a bit here and there, lately it's been Supernatural, today it was Vampire Diaries.


Vampire Diaries OMG! I had a whole bunch of plot bunnies and WIPs started but alas never finished them. Maybe I'll try again. And I'll raid your LJ this weekend to read some of your stuff :)

Well, Hello Stranger! So nice to see you back with us (yes, I'm still lurking about). I'm sorry your private life has taken a down turn but if it means we get to have your company again, then I'm gonna be selfish about the whole thing and say "whoopee". I've had a headache most of the day but you've just put a smile on my face so thanks for that, sweetie.
And, yes, I still enjoy a good X-fic of the Logan/Scott variety and if you're thinking of writing in that fandom again then you're doubly welcome. But just a "hello" now and then will suffice too.
Hugs to you.

Hey you :) Glad to see you still here!!

Ah RL just continues to disappoint me over and over again but I'm in a much better place and time now in all respects - professional and personal. But you're right - we should just keep in touch even if its not about fics and fandom and I will definitely try to do better moving forward.

How about you hon? How are things at your end? *hugs*

I will always be a taker for your Scott/Logan fic! Welcome back.

Hey there! Thank you :) I'll try to post some stuff soon.

Just shows how much I'm on lj these days, didn't know you'd moved to the US. What does a good British lass do in the US? ;-P

Ah men...kinda know what you mean, but it's still hard to swear off them for good.

I loved the Avengers, although not Loki that much. But I hear there's lots of Loki/Thor fanfic out there and the thought does intrigue me a lot. As for writing 'American', I really wouldn't worry about sounding too 'English', cause it's so much more about the content anyway! ;-)

Hope you'll be back into writing and that I'll catch it, I'm very rarely on lj these days...=/

Hi you!! :) How are you doing??

Yeah I'm back Stateside, and back in DC too. It's going well, still get equal parts ragged equal parts hit on for the accent hehe but its all good.

How can you not love Loki?!?! HOW!???!! :D:D I'm kidding.. I started fangirling him right after Thor, he's such a heartbroken kid in that one.

Anyway, yeah will try writing again soon. And maybe I'll nudge you just to let you know ;) So how is it going at your end? Still enjoying Europe?

Hello, gooo-rgeous :D

I'm sorry things have been such a head-ache...but can I be a tiny bit pleased that it's brought you back to us? :)

I, uh...have really enjoyed your American 30 somethings from Texas living in California fic... but I understand a desire to write other things, too. *wibbles*

Um, hi! *waves like a goob*

Hi you!! :) *hugs* How are you, long time!

Aww thank you so much sweetie... you're way too nice to me :D I do have a couple of J2 wips too, will try to finish them and post soon.

And how are things at your end? The boys must be getting big now huh? :)


Well, where to start? lol? Nah, don't worry, I won't do that to you, :) Life is a definite challenge, but still vertical - that's got to be sign for optimism,eh? but loving me some wonderful Spn / J2 BB fics. Have you read any, yet?

I missed all of them bbs this year!!! When did they start posting? Damn I should try and catch up.. any recs? :)

I miss you. You were such a good friend and a comfort and basically an all around fantastic person. And i miss connecting with you.

And btw - totes hop on the Teen Wolf train. On Mondays We Wear Leather. <3

Were? Don't give up on me just yet sweetie. And how are you?? You're supposed to be the one that always makes me laugh.. Please don't sound so serious! :)

Teen wolf yes!! Glad you're on it too!! *hugs*

Ugh. I guess you could say my life is okay? I have cause to be as depressed with my life as i am. Full time job, love it, but make crap money as far as where i live in concerned. My boyfriend and i had our 4 year anni, so, thats okay. But i want to leave here so badly, get away from where i grew up and my parents and everything about here. But aj has his life and family and neice here. So.
/complain.
At least i can say i have a plan, and love my job. Mot to mention, Jeff Davis loves his fans enough to cater to us. Have you seen the Teen Choice awards video from teen wolf? What a tease!!

Sorry to hear about your guy...you're right, men totally suck. When I tell my mom I'd rather not get married she looks at me like I'm crazy. *Sigh* I wish 'the finding someone to spend your life with' bullshit didn't exist. Not that I'm against it, but only few really get lucky in that they find someone good for them but for most it really doesn't work out. Wow, that's depressing.

Hope DC works out for you, it is a lovely city, very metropolitan though not as exotic compared to other places.

X-Men!!!! *Breaks out pom-poms* There will always be takers for Scott/Logan and more so it written by you :) Let the Scott/Logan OTP be your tub of Ben and Jerry's. It's definitely mine!

Loki seems a fan fav. I've always preferred older sibling angst but Thor doesn't seem to have any! I do love Steve, though. Steve's my favorite, I just adore him. Teen Wolf! You're into TW! Yay! I liked Scott/Stiles and Scott/Derek at first glimpse but I switched to Stiles/Derek soon. There are no takers for anything else. Mainly because these two are awesome together and the Scott/Allison pairing does have some chemistry(which is very surprising). And the villains are totally awesome. I have an unhealthy crush on Peter, he is one awesome dude. I would love to know your take on him.

Anyway, lots of luck and hugs.

Hey there!! I am so so sorry - not sure why I didn't get a notification for this comment. How are you!?! Long time!

With you on the marriage thing. Well, to be honest I tried it and it was great but it didn't work out and have been on a downward spiral since. And i have accepted the fact that 'happily ever after' doesn't mean the same thing for everyone but its everyone else around me that keeps trying to change my mind about it and its just..argh, its ridiculous you know?

Anyway. X-Men yeah.. I've been trying to write this one piece that just keeps getting longer and convoluted and I so don't want to post another WIP I might end up being forced to abandon *sighs*.

I LOOOOOOVE Loki :D I just do :D And you know Steve/Loki makes a great pair - its like order and chaos, discipline and mischief, the perfect soldier with the perfect brat - its awesome! :)

With Teen Wolf, I've taken to Scott/Jackson for probably the same reason as with Steve/Loki. I do have an unhealthy obsession with trying to reform bad boys, God. Sterek is adorable too.

Okay I'll stop rambling now. Hope you're doing well hon!!

Hey its great hearing from you. Sorry to hear about ur heartaches.. and if i could bang in the head that dude who broke ur heart I would.

I agree with you we shouldnt hold ourselves to superfluous cultural standard. Man can suck very much, and not in the sexy fancfiction way :P... I do hope things change in the future- in a matter you are happy and fullfilled with.

My brother is in love with teen wold and so is my friend. I would love to watch but with my little girl i barely have time to check emials. So you guys gonna have to catch me up.

In a few hours it will be your birthday I believe... HAPPY BIRTHDAY... Hope your day is great.

Hey there! I am so sorry - don't know why I didn't see this comment before.. thank you for your lovely comment and also remembering my bday!! :) How are you sweetie? And how's the little one?

Teen Wolf is only 12 eps a season and there have been 2 so far. Actually they just got picked for a third season with an order of 22 episodes this time - it's gotten so big and it is so so good! So yeah I would highly recommend catching up with it if you ever do find some time :)

*waves hi* I've been so lost from LJ, being so busy with work and stuff, that I have even forgotten where I met you. *sg* But I'm trying to reacquaint myself with people, so now that I have LJs on my RSS reader where I might be able to keep up, here's saying hi and I'll be watching your LJ more now.

And a fellow X-Men lover. :D Though our taste in ships is markedly different, that's for sure. I don't go for slash (though I like a good romantic friendship, but Logan/Scott will never be a ship I could get on, lol). But give me some good Scott/Ororo (which is rarer than all get-out, it would seem, beyond a handful of years-old fics), so I understand the lack of takers there. :) One of these days I might get back to writing my X2 fix-it fic. *g*

Hello!! Well it looks like a lot of us are spending more and more time away from LJ these days. And to think I used to spend every free minute of my day here once upon a time heh.. life goes on I guess.

How are you? And wait.. LJ has an RSS reader? What? Okay thanks for the tip I'm gonna try it too :)

You know Scott/Jean was the only het couple I ever shipped.. maybe we met somewhere in that area? Doesn't matter - I hope we can still keep in touch! I'm still very much in love with the original Xmen movieverse (XMFC seems to have taken over but I'm not into that so much) So if you're writing any XMen fic that you need any beta services for, I'd love to have at it! :)

Take care hon.

Lol, I know! I used to keep up with LJ daily . . . and now my web presence has switched to RSS & IRC (the instant chat and then back to work is the only way I can socialize in my brief breaks from my projects). (And then there's the torrent sites, but shhhhh . . . *g*)

No, LJ doesn't have an RSS reader--but I have one installed on my computer (RSSOwl), and you can grab LJ feeds and show 'em on any RSS reader. If you add the right thing to the URL, you can even pull friends-locked posts that you would see only when you're logged in. (LJ has a section about that in help, authenticating feeds and all that.)

Maybe? I do like Scott/Jean some, I just think there were tons of issues with their relationship--hence why I don't mind Jean dying at the end of X2 as much, because it allows Scott to eventually come to realize all of that plus going through tons of grief/angst (which is awful for a real-life person but makes good fic). I like ideas from X3 but have tossed it out as regards to my personal canon, and XMFC (and the Wolverine movie) don't even enter into my radar, lol. (I'm told I should see XMFC for characterization of Prof X and Erik but haven't gotten around to that yet. Wolverine I'm told not to bother watching in the first place, lol.)

My latest obsession is Rizzoli & Isles, lol. But I haven't had time to write fic at all lately. I do have my X2 fix-it fic, as I said, that I want to work on more sometime--I have about 7k written and that was just a beginning, but my writing isn't as polished as I'd like, and I need tons of brainstorming before I can continue (I was pretty much just taking the end of X2 and dealing with all the details, plus working in whatever A- and B-plots that came to mind, but I need to do some planning about the big picture of the 'verse). If you want to read what I've written, check out my xfic tag on LJ--you're in my fanfic readers group. Mind you, I've edited those some since so what's up there is not my current version--but I could e-mail the current version if you're curious, lol.

I for one am always happy to see you around and read your delicious Logan/Scott fic!

Also: highly recommend Hannibal, Pushing Daisies, Dead like me, and everything else Bryan Fuller has ever touched, it's all amazing tv <3

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