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cyndrarae

Rebelling against Reality since 2003

v14.0


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TVD: Damon sick with vervain
cyndrarae

Ramblings.. mostly inconsequential.

1. Sitting at Heathrow airport (again) waiting for my flight to DC. Will be there for the next couple of months maybe. For work. Not pleasure. I should be more excited - I've always loved the East Coast and Manhattan must be my favorite city in the whole world. Maybe its just way too early in the morning to care. 

2. Yet another relationship seems to be on its way to ending in a Grecian tragedy. I used to think self-fulfilling prophecies were bullshit, but maybe there is some truth to it. Why else do I keep falling for the same lies, hooking up with the same type of passive-aggressive, egotistical, mentally abusive men over and over again? First guy, I can blame him squarely. Second one too, maybe. But the third? Fourth? Definitely my fault. This DC trip comes at a good time after all. I need to be alone for some time, and maybe get some help on how to break this vicious pattern I'm stuck in. 

3. Airports have a way of making you feel strangely insignificant - so many people milling about, so many of them going the same way you are, cramped in tight places inside a 777 (yeah flying economy thanks to the uh, economy),  you're surrounded and yet you're completely alone. Surprisingly this feeling doesn't scare me as much as it used to. They say if you feel lonely when you're alone, you're in bad company. I like this quote. And I think I've finally reached a stage where I'm completely comfortable being all by myself. I could do with a dog, tho.

4. I can't stand Glee. I just can't. Sorry, I just had to get it out there :)  

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hi there! just take care of yourself and maybe some time alone thinking is a good thing! hugs

Thanks hon. I hope so too!

Your #4 made me snort coffee everywhere. So not pretty! And I totally agree with you, think I made it through 10 minutes before giving up.

Things have a way of sorting themselves out when you least expect it, so Mr. Right could well be in DC but at the same time, some alone time also sounds good.

Have a safe trip and hopefully you'll feel more excited once you are there. x

Thanks hon *hugs* I'm not looking for Mr. Right (who I'm sure will inevitably turn into Mr. Wrong) in DC for sure tho :) Just looking to focus on work, socialize with friends, and spend time with myself and ON myself for the next 3 months.

Oh I know what you mean about airports, although I do see them in a bit of a different light, since I used to work at one for two years. But yeah, it's a lot of people.

I really like the quote and I'm glad, if you're okay with being by yourself. And also this new opportunity might bring new and exciting people into your life through your work. Change of scenery always helps.
But I'm sorry for the failing relationship and wish you all the best for the future. Seeing someone professional might help, if you think it's necessary to consult one.

Still saving up your bigbang fic, but will read it in the near future, since I'm back to Vienna and starting to feel myself again, but it's still gonna take some time.

As for Glee, unfortunately I'm one of the crazy ones, who loves the show, but I can see, how it might make others cringe. ;-)

Hey I'm not knocking the Gleeks, I wouldn't dare to! ;) Unfortunately its just not for me. And trust me, I tried :)

I didn't know you worked at an airport too. Maybe I find them depressing because a lot of my bad memories (of getting shuttled back and forth between guardians as a kid or running away from bad relationships as an adult) are associated with flying transcontinental. *shrugs*. I don't mind them so much, I just don't care for them

I bet you're going to get addicted to White Collar soon like me hehe. And do let me know what you thought of my bb okay? :)

~Alone is good, while you find your footing and make your way out of that pattern *hugs*

~Glee is balls. I hate it.

~More hugs.

*hugs back* Thank you sweetie. I'm starting to like myself a little more here in DC hehe. And yes, Glee truly isn't for everyone :p

4. I can't stand it, either. They butcher songs.

Sounds like this trip has come along at just the right time. And hopefully the change in scenery, lifestyle, city etc will stop any further doldrums from developing. I can't give you any relationship advice - still single at 50 - I always found myself with men who resembled my father in their natures. So not a good thing.
Can't say whether I like Glee or not - never looked at it. The ads didn't make it in the least bit appealing. Not my cuppa tea.
Take care of yourself and keep posting. We who lead much more ordinary lives like to live vicariously. *hugs*

Heh *hugs back tightly* :) Staying single is definitely the best thing I can do for myself right now.

What fandoms you in these days? Anything new I could possibly follow you into? :)

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